Breast Cancer

so I found a lump a few ago...got it looked at and after alot of test, I have been diagnosed with breast cancer...

I am in shock..my husband is being wonderful...I find out at the end of the week, all the who what and whens. I have been given the names of the best dr.'s around...I will go to all of the best and I will beat this.



so on day one where I know I have it, Im geniuenely in shock.

so thankful

so i never blog anymore but I thought I would today...One year ago today my husband and I split and on that day my world crumbled.....A year later I can honestly say it was the worst pain to date...

So I thought I would share where we are today.

BETTER THAN EVER..thank GOD....

God has healed our broken hearts and made us better people. I wont lie, this year has been tough....not the jealous stuff...but money stuff...But as of right now God has helped us and healed us...and Im in love. If possible, more than before. I am more comfortable now with him. I do have many health issues and he makes me want to a better person which I love.

No I dont check his phone, emails or FB anymore. I trust him. completely.

Yes I do go a shrink still and I told her I just wanted him to remember today and he not only remembered but gave me a trip to Ireland to celebrate us. On top of me having the best Christmas from 45212354 gifts but also because he went to 4 places for one gift and baked with me and we laughed and had the best time. Yes this is with him working like 65 hrs per week and me to and yet we found time to rock it....

I do love my life....

so in one year I can say...wow what a change. for the better

lucky me

So its been quite some time....I could give you 45212548 reasons why I havnt blogged but the main one is I have been hanging out with my hubby when not working..and its been super fun, but I havent been able to share with you my awesomeness nor read your:(

I love him. Coming up on a year of the yuckyness that we went through, makes this time...well I appreciate it even more. I feel like I was so busy taking pictures of everyone elses fun and not having as much myself.So, I have cute back. Lovey and I are....amazing. I do feel lucky. We have had a very bumpy road the last few months with life but we have rocked it for the better...

We have a puppy and she is so adorable but equally alot of work! I have never had a puppy before, so I love having her...but when I have worked on my feet all day and Daddy is still at work, she wants to play and I want to crawl i bed....kinda like a baby, I guess....heehee

I hope you all are awesome!!!! Miss you loads

I love fall

So I thought maybe just maybe I should update my personal blog....I am so busy, I really shouldn't, but I think I will.... I have been journaling privately because my shrink told me that I should, and it has helped....

I love my husband. We have gone through some major crap in the last couple of months and he is showing me that he has learned his lesson to support us and not bow out...This makes me love him all the more. BTW, the major crap is not marriage issues, its life issues and that is what broke us last time...

Our puppy is getting big and she is pretty awesome....Its fall which is my favorite time of year. I love that its not so hot outside...love

I tried to close my business..this would require me learning to say no, and Im still working on that...Only a few times...lol...But Im crazy booked till January so I think it will be open until then...Lord, I ask for your guidance...

Thats it and thats all...

i love my husband

i wont lie I am afraid at times to admit it, but he is my favorite thing. I listen to songs now and am so glad we made it...I feel very blessed...I have a very full plate but God gave me him to help me and for that I am beyond thankful....

closing

So after a long careful and thoughtful time, Ive decided to take a long break from my business.
With going to the Dr.'s two and three times some weeks and fatigue being one of the main symptoms, doesnt go well with the hot temps and long shoots...
I want to come back if/when I can give customer service that I dream of and I can be more professional. I hate that I feel like such a failure. I hate that I am known to take great pics but not give them in a great time. I hate that if a person insist on their type of shoot and I'm too nice to stand my ground and let them do their thing, like have a shoot in the harsh light, yet not love the pics, I take it personally...but until Harry Potter comes to work with me, there is nothing we can do if I choose to take them and not be the professional I am and say no....

So yes, in my dreams I will come back, but for now I want to go back to a 9-5 job, where my personal life doesnt run into my business life....

I feel like i never have time to blog, play or anything...so hopefully this will help....i want to love it again.............

Random

Ok here is a bunch of random...I think that I should get an award. I keep saying every entry how its been to long and I promise to start blogging more. but the week flies by then the month and natta..so I should get the liar award.

so here is a bunch of random...I do have a tumor/mass/growth that is benign. It is causing some hormones to over produce which the Dr thinks is no biggy but when i loose my hair like a balding person and pass out on clients, I think I should not believe him...but I am on meds to shrink the thingy.

my husband and I communicate better than ever. this is bittersweet. it was the end of my marraige before so I luv it but I hate it when Im wrong and we want to punch each other lol...I blame my brain tumor entirely. kthanx

We leave for Texas in a few days for 10 days...I cant wait!!! I miss my family and having them and my lovey will be a little piece of heaven. I have alot of shoots there to which I love. 10 days there so yay!!

my very good friend got engaged, which I love so I get to rock an engagement shoot while there...love

we are really trying to learn to budget, so if u have any tips please share...my husband and i have coupon night instead of date night and we are rocking that.

We went on our yearly vacation to the lake. It was super fun. But I lost my small camera:(

I drove by the area where loveys life was for a few months and it made my heart ache so badly...God I am so glad that is over....

i love my life and my husband