I love my husband. Its the cheesy type of love. Someone recently emailed me and said that she hopes that things look up soon for me...Well, thats so sweet but it makes me realize that I hope that I dont relay that we have too much on our plate. My last few post have been Debbie downers....But...I have a great life. I have a husband that adores me, whom I adore. We sit in bed or in the car and laugh and laugh. It is nice....I love our home.
Maybe its that movie, "My sisters keeper" that put things in perspective. But it hit home in so many ways and makes me so thankful for the life I have.
BTW I started my cycle yesterday. Im waiting for the Dr to call with my new protocal.
I just thought I would share...what are you thankful for?
Monday, June 29, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
wanna laugh?
Last night since I have no job I thought I would be this awesome wife. (Not that I'm not already hahha). So I cleaned and then I made a cake and some ice tea for my Lovey. After I put the cakes in the oven, and tea in the fridge I started cleaning. Well, in the process of wiping down the counter, I knocked brand new razor sharp scissors into the floor INTO MY FOOT...LIKE STAB MY FOOT. STANDING STRAIGHT UP like a knife from a horror movie or CSI...uggggg After I pulled it out it was bleeding everywhere...so I grabbed a rag and hobbled to my room and called Lovey who was on was way home 4521548 times with no answer. He finally ( 2 seconds later) called me back and was like whats wrong? So sobbing, I'm like the scissors..he was like oh...like how did scissors cut ur foot...when he got home and saw ans was like omg, those are some sharp scissors. It didn't go through the bottom of my foot but according to the blood on the scissors, it went almost all the way through.
All I could think of- is the episode of Friends where Chandler gets his toe cut off by Monica with a knife in kitchen...what? it could have been my scissors....hahhahahhahahah
Yes once again I own my nickname, Tardo.
All I could think of- is the episode of Friends where Chandler gets his toe cut off by Monica with a knife in kitchen...what? it could have been my scissors....hahhahahhahahah
Yes once again I own my nickname, Tardo.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
lucky me
i always write the things that I am thankful for during the times I am having a hrad time being thankful...so here it goes
1. The most amazing husband whos goal in life is to make me happy. Everyday he does something to make me smile. He supports me in everything. ( Trista Rhen said when she was suffering from IF that the hardest part of life is finding the right guy that u want to have kids with, well I have found that in Lovey...kids will be a bonus!!!!)
2. We have a beautiful 3 bedroom villa that we own and lovey has repainted alot of it to make it look even nicer than it did before.
3. My step mother/owner of the company I used to work for is keeping the insurance which allows me to have another insurance paid for IVF
4. my brother has a new company and its seems to get better ever day.
5. my other brother has a new baby coming in a few months..after they ttc for a few months and it wasnt working on the first try and they were getting frustrated.
6. we have a nephew that captures my heart everytime I see him.
7. I have friends that care so much about me and show it via text and fb love which i loveeeee.
8. I now have free time to persue my photography love.
9. I no longer work for a company where i was verbally abused constantly.
10. we have one beautiful embie in freeze.
life is good. my glass is half full.
1. The most amazing husband whos goal in life is to make me happy. Everyday he does something to make me smile. He supports me in everything. ( Trista Rhen said when she was suffering from IF that the hardest part of life is finding the right guy that u want to have kids with, well I have found that in Lovey...kids will be a bonus!!!!)
2. We have a beautiful 3 bedroom villa that we own and lovey has repainted alot of it to make it look even nicer than it did before.
3. My step mother/owner of the company I used to work for is keeping the insurance which allows me to have another insurance paid for IVF
4. my brother has a new company and its seems to get better ever day.
5. my other brother has a new baby coming in a few months..after they ttc for a few months and it wasnt working on the first try and they were getting frustrated.
6. we have a nephew that captures my heart everytime I see him.
7. I have friends that care so much about me and show it via text and fb love which i loveeeee.
8. I now have free time to persue my photography love.
9. I no longer work for a company where i was verbally abused constantly.
10. we have one beautiful embie in freeze.
life is good. my glass is half full.
Monday, June 22, 2009
I got laid off/fired today
She emailed me that she had to do layoffs. Then proceeded to tell me that I havent gotten one sale in a year and a half and that I have taken over 11k in draws so I have no paycheck owed to me.
Well I have qty 76 hardcopy deals from 2008. I cant access Quantum to see how much I made. And I made over 2.3 million dollars in sales in 07 and havent been paid a commission.
Then she shut down my email and emailed the entire staff and told them that they wernt aloud to speak to me or my brother Jason during company hours. Lawid off? how about fired? Layoffs are because you cant pay them anymore not where its this harsh. and she is my Dads wife....what?
so this is the email I sent to her:
Lovey and I would like to know if my Dad has left us anything in his will?
Also, I would like the picture that I made him for fathers day 08 sent to me.
I honestly don't understand. If you did layoffs across the board and told me this was what you had to do to survive then ok. But you have Luis still, Tom, Mel, Meghan, Bert and doughnuts and creamer for the office and I hear you told Paul your upgrading the computers...and you hired Ray. Im not saying that I want any of these people to go through what I am going through ( Even though youll tell them otherwise) but it wouldn't be so hard if it wasn't only Jason and I that got laid off. Then you email the entire staff and tell them to not speak to us during office hours? Who are you? When did you become so mean? Im so sad because I don't think that my Dad would have wanted to you to lay off his two kids in the awful time. Especially when I was willing to do anything to work harder. I just don't understand who will hire I pregnant girl or someone going through IVF.
And I should have known when I couldn't get into Quantum, but you lied to my face and I believed you as always.
Ruth hasn't made any sales yet your not laying her off right?
I'm sorry to be harsh in this email but I am so sad this is what this has come to 3 weeks after he died. Let me call my mom for help...oh whoops I cant, she is gone also.
I will pray that the Lord softens my heart. I never thought that this would ever come to this. I guess that my Dad can see you true colors from Heaven.
Well I have qty 76 hardcopy deals from 2008. I cant access Quantum to see how much I made. And I made over 2.3 million dollars in sales in 07 and havent been paid a commission.
Then she shut down my email and emailed the entire staff and told them that they wernt aloud to speak to me or my brother Jason during company hours. Lawid off? how about fired? Layoffs are because you cant pay them anymore not where its this harsh. and she is my Dads wife....what?
so this is the email I sent to her:
Lovey and I would like to know if my Dad has left us anything in his will?
Also, I would like the picture that I made him for fathers day 08 sent to me.
I honestly don't understand. If you did layoffs across the board and told me this was what you had to do to survive then ok. But you have Luis still, Tom, Mel, Meghan, Bert and doughnuts and creamer for the office and I hear you told Paul your upgrading the computers...and you hired Ray. Im not saying that I want any of these people to go through what I am going through ( Even though youll tell them otherwise) but it wouldn't be so hard if it wasn't only Jason and I that got laid off. Then you email the entire staff and tell them to not speak to us during office hours? Who are you? When did you become so mean? Im so sad because I don't think that my Dad would have wanted to you to lay off his two kids in the awful time. Especially when I was willing to do anything to work harder. I just don't understand who will hire I pregnant girl or someone going through IVF.
And I should have known when I couldn't get into Quantum, but you lied to my face and I believed you as always.
Ruth hasn't made any sales yet your not laying her off right?
I'm sorry to be harsh in this email but I am so sad this is what this has come to 3 weeks after he died. Let me call my mom for help...oh whoops I cant, she is gone also.
I will pray that the Lord softens my heart. I never thought that this would ever come to this. I guess that my Dad can see you true colors from Heaven.
IVF#2 update
I spoke to the insurance company and they informed me that for sure that there is no limit to the amount of cycles that we can do. So as long as we have insurance,we have IVF coverage.
I spoke to the nurse today. Once I get my cycle I start the new pills. I will do a min of 21 days of pills and probably not lupron at all.
The embryologist called and told me we have one perfect blast. Its already hatching so he is going to biopsy it. The other 3 didnt make it.
I spoke to the nurse today. Once I get my cycle I start the new pills. I will do a min of 21 days of pills and probably not lupron at all.
The embryologist called and told me we have one perfect blast. Its already hatching so he is going to biopsy it. The other 3 didnt make it.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Infertility Bill- please sign and show ur support:)
I just filled out this VERY needed bill for infertility coverage from our insurance.... I urge you to take action yourself and spread the word! To take action on this issue, click on the link below. There is a prefilled letter or instructions of to copy and paste the info to your rep.....
https://secure2.convio.net/res/site/Advocacy?s_oo=zVs71x76BR-xRUb0_8rsgw..&id=237
If the text above does not appear as a link or it wraps across multiple lines, then copy and paste it into the address area of your browser.
this is the bill thats called H.R. 697, The Family Building Act of 2009
Thank you
https://secure2.convio.net/res/site/Advocacy?s_oo=zVs71x76BR-xRUb0_8rsgw..&id=237
If the text above does not appear as a link or it wraps across multiple lines, then copy and paste it into the address area of your browser.
this is the bill thats called H.R. 697, The Family Building Act of 2009
Thank you
Friday, June 19, 2009
so I had a bad day...laaalaala
K, this morning the Embryologist called and told me the below info. He said he had already called Dr Hughes at the genetics place as they were in a bad place and wanted us to be informed to make the best decision that we could. He told us that we had a few options:
a. forgo this cycle, freeze the embryos that we might have on Sunday, and do another cycle to get more eggs so we can send alot more to have PGD
b. put the two embryos in as is and pray that it is not sick and that it takes
c. send the two off for biopsy, but he highly pushed for us not to do this.
Well Lovey called his mom on the way home to see me and make sure I was ok. He told her that we could put in two embies and maybe get twins, its unlikely, but so was the octomom. He said what if both babies are sick like Cass? I don't want to bury my wife and my kids before me. And as much as I ached when he told me, I agree.
So I have been trying to get ahold of my step mom/owner of my Dads company. Well she emailed me and told me the other day that I may not have a job soon ( I asked her why she wasn't returning my calls or text or emails or why I was blocked in our database for work). She has to do layoffs. This is the same day that I hear that she hired her neighbor and isn't laying off others that we can do without, so lets layoff my dead husbands of three weeks daughter who is in the middle of IVF.
Since we have to make an informed decision I have Lovey call her to make sure I will have insurance next month. She sends him to VM..surprise surprise.....So a girl at work tells me to try and IM her...so I do and she answerer's and says I will have insurance but I have to pay for it in full. Work will no longer pay any of it. Then she tells me she has some meeting at 11am and she will let me know after 11am if I will still have a job. Well its 5:53 my time that's either one VERY long meeting or she never got back to me. Another accountant told me that as of July 1st, I will have to pay for own cell. This was after I emailed 3 times, text to my step mom/head acct, and called from my cell to let them know my house phone was turned off for nonpayment of 3 months.
I just don't understand. How is it that my Dad dies 3 weeks ago and she is laying off his kids? I haven't gotten paid on time in 3 months or longer. I haven't been paid a commission in over 2 years, when I made the company over 2.3 millions in sales in 07.... Everyone at our company makes more money than me without any commissions, but since I haven't been paid commissions in over 2 years, it makes me the lowest paid staff there....
*So lets not layoff the S/R manager that was hired unnecessarily years ago that makes 2x what I do, that cant even do the shipping or receiving persons job,
*one of the three accountants for a small sales company
*not pay the cleaning lady an arm and a leg to clean every week,
*not pay for creamer or doughnuts every week
*not pay for the expensive coffee cups with liners that she has...
instead lets lay of my dead husbands daughter who is in the middle of IVF and hasn't gotten paid on time in months and is such a hard worker.
So I tell her that I am not working for my brother just in case she thinks that I am and she tells me that she is doing some research to show otherwise...which is lie because I am NOT working for him. He made a deal last month were he made enough money for his bills, but has done nothing since. He has some other stuff in the works, but I am not with him at this time nor have I been this entire time. I don't know if she remembers but I was with my dad for the few weeks of his life....then back there for the funeral... Her BFF in our Malaysian office is the sales manager and hasn't got so much as $20.00 in orders in months and yet she isn't getting laid off.
I have let go that my Dad has left her over a million dollars in life insurance. All his bills, mortgage and trucks paid off. She had the special insurance on everything to pay it off if my Dad died....so 1 million of clean cash...and we get nothing- which is fine....sooooooooooooo fine. But can you wait to lay me off till after my IVF to produce a child who isnt sick like me is over. k thanks...uggggggggggggggggg
I just don't understand how she can claim to be this christian woman but yet be so mean to us.
I mean it would be hard to hear but it would be nice if she just called and said...hey cass, things are bad with work. You know you haven't gotten paid on time in months...and I have to do layoffs and unfortunately it maybe you. I hate to do it but I might....but instead I get nothing but the IM from this am, and email after I beg for something for days, and an email from the other accountant about my cell.
its wrong, yes it is
so I have been on the phone with my insurance and it loooooks like this cycle and the next will be covered. this is really good news. I am waiting for the insurance to call me back to confirm, but if this is the case then Im am not as sad, at all....
no job...maybe mcdonalds will hire a knocked up girl....
a. forgo this cycle, freeze the embryos that we might have on Sunday, and do another cycle to get more eggs so we can send alot more to have PGD
b. put the two embryos in as is and pray that it is not sick and that it takes
c. send the two off for biopsy, but he highly pushed for us not to do this.
Well Lovey called his mom on the way home to see me and make sure I was ok. He told her that we could put in two embies and maybe get twins, its unlikely, but so was the octomom. He said what if both babies are sick like Cass? I don't want to bury my wife and my kids before me. And as much as I ached when he told me, I agree.
So I have been trying to get ahold of my step mom/owner of my Dads company. Well she emailed me and told me the other day that I may not have a job soon ( I asked her why she wasn't returning my calls or text or emails or why I was blocked in our database for work). She has to do layoffs. This is the same day that I hear that she hired her neighbor and isn't laying off others that we can do without, so lets layoff my dead husbands of three weeks daughter who is in the middle of IVF.
Since we have to make an informed decision I have Lovey call her to make sure I will have insurance next month. She sends him to VM..surprise surprise.....So a girl at work tells me to try and IM her...so I do and she answerer's and says I will have insurance but I have to pay for it in full. Work will no longer pay any of it. Then she tells me she has some meeting at 11am and she will let me know after 11am if I will still have a job. Well its 5:53 my time that's either one VERY long meeting or she never got back to me. Another accountant told me that as of July 1st, I will have to pay for own cell. This was after I emailed 3 times, text to my step mom/head acct, and called from my cell to let them know my house phone was turned off for nonpayment of 3 months.
I just don't understand. How is it that my Dad dies 3 weeks ago and she is laying off his kids? I haven't gotten paid on time in 3 months or longer. I haven't been paid a commission in over 2 years, when I made the company over 2.3 millions in sales in 07.... Everyone at our company makes more money than me without any commissions, but since I haven't been paid commissions in over 2 years, it makes me the lowest paid staff there....
*So lets not layoff the S/R manager that was hired unnecessarily years ago that makes 2x what I do, that cant even do the shipping or receiving persons job,
*one of the three accountants for a small sales company
*not pay the cleaning lady an arm and a leg to clean every week,
*not pay for creamer or doughnuts every week
*not pay for the expensive coffee cups with liners that she has...
instead lets lay of my dead husbands daughter who is in the middle of IVF and hasn't gotten paid on time in months and is such a hard worker.
So I tell her that I am not working for my brother just in case she thinks that I am and she tells me that she is doing some research to show otherwise...which is lie because I am NOT working for him. He made a deal last month were he made enough money for his bills, but has done nothing since. He has some other stuff in the works, but I am not with him at this time nor have I been this entire time. I don't know if she remembers but I was with my dad for the few weeks of his life....then back there for the funeral... Her BFF in our Malaysian office is the sales manager and hasn't got so much as $20.00 in orders in months and yet she isn't getting laid off.
I have let go that my Dad has left her over a million dollars in life insurance. All his bills, mortgage and trucks paid off. She had the special insurance on everything to pay it off if my Dad died....so 1 million of clean cash...and we get nothing- which is fine....sooooooooooooo fine. But can you wait to lay me off till after my IVF to produce a child who isnt sick like me is over. k thanks...uggggggggggggggggg
I just don't understand how she can claim to be this christian woman but yet be so mean to us.
I mean it would be hard to hear but it would be nice if she just called and said...hey cass, things are bad with work. You know you haven't gotten paid on time in months...and I have to do layoffs and unfortunately it maybe you. I hate to do it but I might....but instead I get nothing but the IM from this am, and email after I beg for something for days, and an email from the other accountant about my cell.
its wrong, yes it is
so I have been on the phone with my insurance and it loooooks like this cycle and the next will be covered. this is really good news. I am waiting for the insurance to call me back to confirm, but if this is the case then Im am not as sad, at all....
no job...maybe mcdonalds will hire a knocked up girl....
IVF update # 15
The Dr called. its not good news.
one 8 cell perfect embie
one 4 cell perfect slow embie
two 5 cell fragmented embie
one embie didnt even divide
they have advised us to grow and see what we have Sunday and freeze the good emnbies. Do another cycle. We are working with the insurance to do another cycle...
we need more than 1 embie to send off for biopsy for PGD.
so as of right now we are forgoing this cycle.
please pray this has been a tough month
one 8 cell perfect embie
one 4 cell perfect slow embie
two 5 cell fragmented embie
one embie didnt even divide
they have advised us to grow and see what we have Sunday and freeze the good emnbies. Do another cycle. We are working with the insurance to do another cycle...
we need more than 1 embie to send off for biopsy for PGD.
so as of right now we are forgoing this cycle.
please pray this has been a tough month
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Attitude
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!'
He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it!
You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?'
He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or.....
you can choose to be in a bad mood.
I choose to be in a good mood.'
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...
I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or...
I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.
'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood..
You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line...
It's your choice how you live your life.'
I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw him about six months after the accident.
When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?'
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or.....I could choose to die.
I chose to live.'
'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked.
He continued, '..the paramedics were great.
They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action..'
'What did you do?' I asked.
'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.'
The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'.'
Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude...
I learned from him that every day we have the
choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34.
After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it!
You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?'
He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or.....
you can choose to be in a bad mood.
I choose to be in a good mood.'
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...
I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or...
I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.
'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood..
You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line...
It's your choice how you live your life.'
I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw him about six months after the accident.
When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?'
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or.....I could choose to die.
I chose to live.'
'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked.
He continued, '..the paramedics were great.
They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action..'
'What did you do?' I asked.
'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.'
The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'.'
Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude...
I learned from him that every day we have the
choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34.
After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
IVF update #14
so yesterday we went in for our Egg retrieval. Lovey is anti-love room. So he was going to give me some little loveyes at home and we would take them there. Well I woke up at 5am, couldn't sleep from the nervousness, and I saw on the news that a cop was killed on the turnpike were we were going. So afraid we would get stuck in traffic, lovey decided to give me lil loveys in the bathroom at the place. I know i know, the bathroom vs the private room made for this stuff....I tried to convince him but he wouldn't listen.
My Lovey and my Jess is whom went with me. Thank God she went to help Lovey take care of me. He does pretty good, but I was a hot mess, thank God for her.
Well, they took me in and the nervousness got wayyyy worse. The Dr came in and said Hi. Then they put in my IVF and gave me meds and the next thing I know I wake up and they tell me they got 10 eggs. I go pee and get undressed out my paper gown (I was such a hottie in the paper doll dress) and we go home. Besides the cramps which I was told is normal, I'm fine. I get home and get nauseous. Then I get a cold in my head. My eyes wont stop tearing, I sneeze, which doesn't feel very good with my lady parts being fragile, and I am all stuffed up...uggggh I slept most of the day, and night. I feel WAY better other than this dumb head cold.
Today they call me with the fertilization report. Lets pray for 100% fert!!!
and yes, for a moment yesterday I did think that I might not do this ever again but that moment has passed.
My Lovey and my Jess is whom went with me. Thank God she went to help Lovey take care of me. He does pretty good, but I was a hot mess, thank God for her.
Well, they took me in and the nervousness got wayyyy worse. The Dr came in and said Hi. Then they put in my IVF and gave me meds and the next thing I know I wake up and they tell me they got 10 eggs. I go pee and get undressed out my paper gown (I was such a hottie in the paper doll dress) and we go home. Besides the cramps which I was told is normal, I'm fine. I get home and get nauseous. Then I get a cold in my head. My eyes wont stop tearing, I sneeze, which doesn't feel very good with my lady parts being fragile, and I am all stuffed up...uggggh I slept most of the day, and night. I feel WAY better other than this dumb head cold.
Today they call me with the fertilization report. Lets pray for 100% fert!!!
and yes, for a moment yesterday I did think that I might not do this ever again but that moment has passed.
Monday, June 15, 2009
IVF Update #13
We did the HCG shot lastr night at 9:30. I wont lie. I was VERY scared. But lovey a great job. It made my muscle feel tight for like 15 minutes and then nothing.
I did my HCG test this am (HPT test) and it came out postive and I was like hahahha that my first BFF!!!! hahhahahaa
Egg retreval is at 9:30am....to be continued....
pray for me:)
I did my HCG test this am (HPT test) and it came out postive and I was like hahahha that my first BFF!!!! hahhahahaa
Egg retreval is at 9:30am....to be continued....
pray for me:)
Sunday, June 14, 2009
IVF Update # 12
Egg retreval set for Tuesday at 9am:)
We did one shot of follistim 150IU this afternoon. We get to do the HCG shot tonight at 9:30. I took my prenatal and baby aspirin for the last time until after the egg retreval...Woah...we are sooooooooooooooooooo here!!!!!
Other than being tired ALL the time, I havent had alot of side effects, which is wonderful. I have a lil belly, gained like 5lbs so far. They said that tomorrow I might feel alot of side effects....we shall see.
We did one shot of follistim 150IU this afternoon. We get to do the HCG shot tonight at 9:30. I took my prenatal and baby aspirin for the last time until after the egg retreval...Woah...we are sooooooooooooooooooo here!!!!!
Other than being tired ALL the time, I havent had alot of side effects, which is wonderful. I have a lil belly, gained like 5lbs so far. They said that tomorrow I might feel alot of side effects....we shall see.
IVF update #11
We went this am another check. The Dr wanted to see me for my last scan. He said I look really good. As long as my Estrogen is ok, they will call us around noon and tell us what time to do the HCG shot. If my Est is too low they will have me do another midday dose of the follitstim. Thank God that Lovey went with me, because they gave him specific instructions on how to give the HCG and the progestrone shots....I go tomorrow for a urine test to make sure everything is good for the HCG shot.
YaY!
They think the ER will be tuesday. And our Dr wont be here for the ET either but ohhh well.
So I have all the " friends" on que for netflix...aaaannnnnnnd we wait...any thoughts? any advise?
and my nurse told me that she doesnt think it will be so painful for the ET....she said that I may have slight cramping and soreness but she thinks thats it..I hope she is right!
YaY!
They think the ER will be tuesday. And our Dr wont be here for the ET either but ohhh well.
So I have all the " friends" on que for netflix...aaaannnnnnnd we wait...any thoughts? any advise?
and my nurse told me that she doesnt think it will be so painful for the ET....she said that I may have slight cramping and soreness but she thinks thats it..I hope she is right!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
IVF update #10
I went this am for a follie check. They called me last night and said the Dr wanted to see me today and I might start the HCG shot Sat night.
Well Lovey had to work and Jess said she might not be able to go. I have to admit I was sad. I didnt want to go alone. But I didnt say anything to anyone. Lovey wanted me to call Mom and ask her but I felt bad it was so early and all the way in Miami, so I didnt. Well at 9:30 last night Jess called me and told me that she could GO WITH ME!!! yayyyyy! I almost cried, I was so happy. So her the girls went to miami this morning to see the chickadees.
Thank the Lord she went because it was very tender up in there. The girls were like woah...you have a guy Dr? hahahahha We are like, you just choose the best Dr and if there a boy or a girl, you take it...it was cute though.
Well my mini me's are growing along. I couldnt count, there was alot of them.
So the nurse called today and told me that everything looks great. No changes in my meds. She said there was 14 follies. I dont know the sizes or anything. She told me to bring the person giving me the HCG shot to tomorrows appt.
This was a great appointment.
BTW: he is going to the middle east so he wont be here for my ER:(
Well Lovey had to work and Jess said she might not be able to go. I have to admit I was sad. I didnt want to go alone. But I didnt say anything to anyone. Lovey wanted me to call Mom and ask her but I felt bad it was so early and all the way in Miami, so I didnt. Well at 9:30 last night Jess called me and told me that she could GO WITH ME!!! yayyyyy! I almost cried, I was so happy. So her the girls went to miami this morning to see the chickadees.
Thank the Lord she went because it was very tender up in there. The girls were like woah...you have a guy Dr? hahahahha We are like, you just choose the best Dr and if there a boy or a girl, you take it...it was cute though.
Well my mini me's are growing along. I couldnt count, there was alot of them.
So the nurse called today and told me that everything looks great. No changes in my meds. She said there was 14 follies. I dont know the sizes or anything. She told me to bring the person giving me the HCG shot to tomorrows appt.
This was a great appointment.
BTW: he is going to the middle east so he wont be here for my ER:(
Thursday, June 11, 2009
IVF update #9
We went for our now daily visit to see our lil mini me's...
The Dr told me when they called last night that I would have to travel to the Kendall office today which is 80 miles round trip...its far..We like the Pines office which is like 15 miles of almost all highway..so I was sad, but it is what it is.
They called me this am at 9am and told me that they would actually be at the pines location if I wanted to go there!!!!! Heck yeah I told her!!! So we went to Pines:)
Well the Dr Youngman came in and introed himself...yes- young hottie dr and a student looking at my hooha...well who hasnt at this point? lol So I proceed to tell him that I only have 10-or maybe 12 and that they were small and that I read on message boards how there are women with so many more and they are bigger at this point. He is like,I dont believe in BSing and I have looked at your chart and everything looks wonderful. Please stop reading the message boards...Lovey was SOOO happpy to hear this too. (He has been telling me for days to stop reading online.)
So I wont read online anymore about what the sizes and there count...mine is what it is. I only need one.
Lovey is coming down with the flu or a cold...he feels like crap:(
so thats our daily update:)
The Dr told me when they called last night that I would have to travel to the Kendall office today which is 80 miles round trip...its far..We like the Pines office which is like 15 miles of almost all highway..so I was sad, but it is what it is.
They called me this am at 9am and told me that they would actually be at the pines location if I wanted to go there!!!!! Heck yeah I told her!!! So we went to Pines:)
Well the Dr Youngman came in and introed himself...yes- young hottie dr and a student looking at my hooha...well who hasnt at this point? lol So I proceed to tell him that I only have 10-or maybe 12 and that they were small and that I read on message boards how there are women with so many more and they are bigger at this point. He is like,I dont believe in BSing and I have looked at your chart and everything looks wonderful. Please stop reading the message boards...Lovey was SOOO happpy to hear this too. (He has been telling me for days to stop reading online.)
So I wont read online anymore about what the sizes and there count...mine is what it is. I only need one.
Lovey is coming down with the flu or a cold...he feels like crap:(
so thats our daily update:)
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
IVF update # 8
We went for our follie count.The appointment took a looooong time. But the nurse we had was wonderful. She told us that we have 12 follies. 2 are small and we probably wont use them, but we have 10 that are good size. They are all avg around 10mm...so they are growing a little slow....we will just have to bake em a lil longer.
We go again on Friday for another count. They estimate they will do the ER on .Tuesday or Wednesday.
I have a peace about this...
Soooo...last night at about 10, we went to go to bed and I smelled smoke...and Im like LOVEYYYY, SOMETHING IS ON FIRE IN THE ATTIC. So he runs and gets the ladder and up into the attic he goes and he said he could see smoke but couldn't find where it was coming from. So I call 911 and give them our address. I then pack up my IVF meds and put them outside, I then call my Jess and tell her I think my house might be on fire and ask her what I need to get. (I was soooo panicked and couldn't think at all) She told me to get my animals out. So I put the pups in my car. The firefighters get here and go immediately into my attic. The smell is strong, coming from our attic, but they can also smell it on out on our porch. Well they knock on our neighbors door to make them evacuate. Her parents are on vacation so only the daughter that was home. Well she wouldn't let them in. So they called the cops to let them in. Well she comes out and is crying and says...I was burning incense...We are like honey it isnt incense. Lovey comes out with the fire fighters and say that they cant find anything with a computer heat sensor and they are sweating like crazy. Then the awesome neighbor comes out and tells the firefighters that she was burning some papers in a dish and she didnt know that the fumes would come into our house. The firefighters tell her that they have to see the papers to see if that could have been it. Well she shows them that the HEFTY bag is in the trash bin, IT WAS STILL ON FIRE!!!!!!! so they put it out. She comes over to me and tells me, I'm so sorry that it came into your house. I was burning something personal. I'm like ok...and go into my house.Lovey is like " Dont talk to her" They take a report from her. And I'm a wreck inside, trying to calm down because im a little oven maken babies. So I asked lovey if she was burning his poems he wrote her because she is upset we are doing IVF hahhahahahahhahahah. He didn't think it was as funny as I did. hhahahaha
Accupuncture went well. I feel like she knew what she was doing. The needles hurt a little more at first. and she did the moxa...made the needles hot. She was really nice. I am going back on Friday afternoon. Yay!
We go again on Friday for another count. They estimate they will do the ER on .Tuesday or Wednesday.
I have a peace about this...
Soooo...last night at about 10, we went to go to bed and I smelled smoke...and Im like LOVEYYYY, SOMETHING IS ON FIRE IN THE ATTIC. So he runs and gets the ladder and up into the attic he goes and he said he could see smoke but couldn't find where it was coming from. So I call 911 and give them our address. I then pack up my IVF meds and put them outside, I then call my Jess and tell her I think my house might be on fire and ask her what I need to get. (I was soooo panicked and couldn't think at all) She told me to get my animals out. So I put the pups in my car. The firefighters get here and go immediately into my attic. The smell is strong, coming from our attic, but they can also smell it on out on our porch. Well they knock on our neighbors door to make them evacuate. Her parents are on vacation so only the daughter that was home. Well she wouldn't let them in. So they called the cops to let them in. Well she comes out and is crying and says...I was burning incense...We are like honey it isnt incense. Lovey comes out with the fire fighters and say that they cant find anything with a computer heat sensor and they are sweating like crazy. Then the awesome neighbor comes out and tells the firefighters that she was burning some papers in a dish and she didnt know that the fumes would come into our house. The firefighters tell her that they have to see the papers to see if that could have been it. Well she shows them that the HEFTY bag is in the trash bin, IT WAS STILL ON FIRE!!!!!!! so they put it out. She comes over to me and tells me, I'm so sorry that it came into your house. I was burning something personal. I'm like ok...and go into my house.Lovey is like " Dont talk to her" They take a report from her. And I'm a wreck inside, trying to calm down because im a little oven maken babies. So I asked lovey if she was burning his poems he wrote her because she is upset we are doing IVF hahhahahahahhahahah. He didn't think it was as funny as I did. hhahahaha
Accupuncture went well. I feel like she knew what she was doing. The needles hurt a little more at first. and she did the moxa...made the needles hot. She was really nice. I am going back on Friday afternoon. Yay!
Monday, June 8, 2009
IVF update # 7
The Dr.'s office called..
I have 4 on the right... 10, 8, 7 and 6
I have 4 on the left.... 11 3/8, dont know what the others are.
Estrogen 238 which she said was good.
I asked if it was bad if I only had 8 follies and she said..."if you get somemore thats great, if not then we will work with what we have" She was really sweet.
I go tomorrow for acupuncture at 3pm, then back to Dr Wednesday at 11:30 for another count.
I asked if because of my long lupron and BC protocal, it was hindering the amount of eggies I have produced and they said no:(
ohhh and my follistim got lowered to 150 IU from 225IU tomorrow night...and I start menopur tomorrow too:)
And my brother got a HUGE deal that he has been waiting on getting for weeks...HUGEHUGEHUGE DEAL....so yayayyayyayayyay....praise the Lord:)
I have 4 on the right... 10, 8, 7 and 6
I have 4 on the left.... 11 3/8, dont know what the others are.
Estrogen 238 which she said was good.
I asked if it was bad if I only had 8 follies and she said..."if you get somemore thats great, if not then we will work with what we have" She was really sweet.
I go tomorrow for acupuncture at 3pm, then back to Dr Wednesday at 11:30 for another count.
I asked if because of my long lupron and BC protocal, it was hindering the amount of eggies I have produced and they said no:(
ohhh and my follistim got lowered to 150 IU from 225IU tomorrow night...and I start menopur tomorrow too:)
And my brother got a HUGE deal that he has been waiting on getting for weeks...HUGEHUGEHUGE DEAL....so yayayyayyayayyay....praise the Lord:)
IVF update #6
This morning I had my follicle count appointment. I woke up soooo nervous. Lovey couldn't go so my Jess went with me:) I'm sooo glad she did. I was scared that I would get there and the tech would tell me that I was a slow responder and tell me I had 2 or 3 total. Well I have 4 on the left and 4 on the right!!! YaY! Praise God!. After she put the wand in and told me I have retroverted uterus, jess looked down at me and mouthed....you have 4 on the right:) If it wasn't so tender I would have breathed a sigh of relief but I was concentrating on not peeing on the girl..hahhahahahah....So this is fantastic news. I will continue to grow more, I might start the menepur tomorrow. They will call me in a few hours and tell me what to do.
so I rest, drink lots of liquids and sing away to the littles baking:)
so I rest, drink lots of liquids and sing away to the littles baking:)
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
goood news
The Dr called....Estrogen a 38!!!! Starting follastem tomorrow!!!!!
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
IVF update # 5
I got home from my trip to Texas for my Dad's funeral. It was a beautiful service. The officiator went on foooorever but so did my Dad, when it came to the Lord. They had a flag on his casket because he was a paratrooper in the Korean war...it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I have alot of pictures to post....
Butttt I had to update.
I went to the IVF Dr today. They did an ultrasound and bloodwork to make sure I'm were I need to be...well my ultrasound looked great, no cyst. I am waiting for my call to say my bloodwork looked great. When that comes then I start my "baby growing" shots!!!! yayayayay...Egg retreval is in like 10 or so days. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!
God does everything in his perfect timing. I feel like my Dad went to Heaven now and God gave me this to celebrate with to help me to not be so sad...because I have been soooo sad. This was way harder than I thought it would be. I thought I had such a hard heart for him but I didnt. And watching DJ just cry and cry broke me more. Thank the Lord he has his beautiful daughter to make him smile. My other brother Jasons speach was sooooo beautiful....Im so glad he spoke.
anyway pics to come, but yayyyyy for the shots!!!!
Butttt I had to update.
I went to the IVF Dr today. They did an ultrasound and bloodwork to make sure I'm were I need to be...well my ultrasound looked great, no cyst. I am waiting for my call to say my bloodwork looked great. When that comes then I start my "baby growing" shots!!!! yayayayay...Egg retreval is in like 10 or so days. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!
God does everything in his perfect timing. I feel like my Dad went to Heaven now and God gave me this to celebrate with to help me to not be so sad...because I have been soooo sad. This was way harder than I thought it would be. I thought I had such a hard heart for him but I didnt. And watching DJ just cry and cry broke me more. Thank the Lord he has his beautiful daughter to make him smile. My other brother Jasons speach was sooooo beautiful....Im so glad he spoke.
anyway pics to come, but yayyyyy for the shots!!!!
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