Youve had a tough year

So before cancer but after IVF I became a little hermit...I was embarrassed that I couldnt carry a drink across the room....and was afraid to ask anyone.....so I became a hermit. So now being cancer free, growing beautiful hair, have my disability finally being paid, starting a new year with a friend training me in personal fitness...I should be super happy but instead, Im super embarrassed. I cant walk straight and talk right so instead of thinking of what I can do now, I think of all I can't...and the mental is worst then the physical- I constantly say I cant do this, but I can, Im just slow...and today I went to my old work which I have avoided for years even though a great friend works there and she said....something Im gonna keep telling myself...Youve had a tough year, dont be embarrassed....

Go my new motto is going to be Fake it until I make it..... so I want to say all that I do daily... Mailed gifts at postoffice Went to Michaels- walked around alot and shopped came home to clean up made reindeer food like this....

made cake balls

made cheesecake

Lovey did help me a little.....on the tieing of stuff and cutting of stuff with a knife and by then it was 8pm and i crashed...... I only sat in front of the TV for moments yesterday because I would sob everytime.....my pain is NOTHING compared to the pain experienced there. I felt sick like 9/11..the presidents speech was very good. I sobbed then too....my heart aches for everyone involved..... so back to get ready for my Christmas party.....