my laughingbug

if your having a rough day just type in calleighbug and watch my niece laugh away...she even laughs at the sound when she isnt looking....

LOVE HER

IVF #4 update 2

Thanks to my awesome Grandma aka Amanda..long story, no she isnt my real grandma...

I went to the new Re and first let me say that I love the new office. I love the decor. It is decked out with plaques of Faith Hope and Love which everyone knows is my sayings..yes I copywrote them hahahha..But also the staff is AMAZING!!!! They hugged me and made me feel like a million bucks. The room where I get intimate with the dildocam is amazing too. It has a huge flat screen TV that I can see my ultrasound live:) which I love....

He said my sono looked great. He reconfirmed that I dont have a poor ovarian reserve. He could see and so could I on that huge tv, my follies..so I stay on the pill and have a saline sono on Tues...Ill ask him again what he thinks.

once again I love him:)

protocal and symptoms

I wanted to write down these things because I want to remember them later and although they are a huge thing for now, Ill forget soon enough.


symptoms: cramping or sharp lower pain every day and night after transfer. I woke upp4 nights in a pool of sweat. I had heart burn sooo badly every day and still have it some nights. boons where the normal soreness they got a little less sore a few days before beta.

yaz 18 days before stims
150 follistem am & pm
150 menupur
20 microdose lupron
6 days

day 7 am and pm
50iu follistem
50 iu memepur
20 units microdose

day 8 am & pm
50iu follistem
75 iu menepur
20 units microdose

day 9 am & pm
50iu follistem
75 iu menepur
20 units microdose

day 10 lupron only
day 10 hcg

12 eggs retreved
10 mature
9 fetilized
day 3- 9 still doing awesome
day 5 all died but one
day 6 transfer an early blast and a merula.

1 baby asprin
prenatals

stim for 10 days
HCG on day 11

IVF #4 update 1

typing that IVF # 4 is like woah. I never thought that would be me..ever.

So Lovey and I went to a new Re yesterday. Lovey told me the day before that he didnt think we should switch and that I would do what I want anyway...I told him this is both of our decision..he said he didnt want to decide because what if it failed, then he would be responsible...Im like we will decide together. So we wet=nt to interview the new Re...
* first it took like 10 minutes max to get there which is AWESOME!!!!
* The nurse there is nice and so smart. She read my records which earned major bonus points for me:) We talked alot and she said she was surprised that the other Dr said I had diminished ovarian reserve when I had 10 follies taken everytime. She said we need to work on the quality of them....The Dr agrees.
* they also said that maybe my embies dont like the petrie dish after day 3...so they are gonna put them back in on day 3.
* He also asked my to do a week of bedrest and no exercise till after beta.
* He said he is going to treat me very aggressive
* He doesnt think I need donor eggs at all.
* He is doing an ultrasound and he will see if my ovaries are looking good, if they are, then he wants to stem now, if not then we will wait till next period....so tomorrow at 9:45 Ill know.
* he said to keep up exercise and acupuncture
* they don't even have a room to do your business in so Lovey will def. have to do it at home or the dr said he could do it on the terrace or in the waiting room hahahahahh. He was great. We really like him.

When we left, lovey says we are staying here. He is sad we didnt come there a year ago. He also said, "Wouldn't it be funny if we got knocked up the first time"
cant believe that Im not pregnant because besides my SCA I am a picture of health.


I went to yoga this am..she told me to surround myself with the color orange and laughter and positive positive positive...

I hope this works...I need to work on that...

IT WILL WORK..thats better

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

A little mad

Today a friend came over and asked how I was...I told her I was ok...I never feel angry, that it always is what it is, but today I am mad.

I told her how I never thought this would be my life. That I cant believe that I may not have kids....When I was at church when I was small, I was like one of the best with kids and the common complement I got was what a GREAT mom I would be one day. When I was little, you know what I wanted to be when I grew up? A mom. Thats it. A stay at home mom.
She then tells me that you know it is meant to be and dont worry its gonna alright...and I said to her...you know what, Ill be there tomorrow but Im here today. Im in the feel sorry for myslef place today....give me that. She was like ok. I think I scared her, which us good because I wanted to punch her...haha

Im mad because lovey would make one of the best Dads ever and it may not happen.

I did call this am and I do have an appt with a new Dr Tuesday. She asked me to start taking BC pills once I start my period.

I also found out that my insurance wont pay for the room I have IVF in. They make me drive all the way out there to have IVF because they are a contracted Dr but yet they wont pay for the room. Am I dumb, what am I missing? I told him you dont have knee or brain surgery in the hall, you have it in the OR...he agreed but said the room/facility is unlicensed...I dont know what to do.

thats it and thats all

Ivf #3 update 18

Blood test is negative.

i havent cried this hard in a long time

lovey is here...gosh i love him...

he is trying to make me stop crying....he is like. if its just us our whole lives then it is..Ill trade in the expedition and get you a porshe.

He said now our twins can be born in August if we get prego next time. He also told me that now we can have sex....that made me smile. now we can go to the Lake in July...we got out a calendar and we have days left till my insurance expires for a new cycle. He asked me if I wanted to do another one. I told him I would, our insurance covers it, why not?

please pray for us

IVF #3 update 17

So tomorrow is my beta. I am very nervious. I wish I could tell you what I think, well I..think i am..I think its finally here. I hope, pray and have faith that I am right.

I woke up last night/this am 4:45 sweating and then i realized my left boobs has a sharp pain going through it. It was also leaking...I thought it was blood so I got up and went to the bathroom to look and it was clear so I guess its just leaking...uggg is this a sign.

Now 12 years ago I had a miscarraige and since then my boobs have discharge that comes out of them when you squeeze them. The Dr said its a sign of high prolactin and has done several test and prolactin levels are always fine...so hmmmmm

thoughts?

9am tomorrow....this is the day that will change our lives one way or the other.

IVF #3 update 16

My Dr just called. He was just checking on me. It was a big difference from last cycles call where he told me to expect a negative. He thinks this will be good...

I feel good..better today. I felt so tired....today, this am, I seem to be better. I emptied the dishwasher so that was nice:)

Today is 7 years that Lovey and I have been dating. 7 yrs on the 7th, this is gooooood! My lucky/blessed #. Lovey has to go put together the stage for a Joe Diffie concert tonight for some extra cash...this wife of his is still unemployed...although I do have 5 photoshoots in the next 2 weeks!!!

I am soooo happy to finally be off bedrest so I can straighten my house, and blog:)

IVF #3...update 16

I LOVE being on bedrest and having lovey wait on me hand and foot...

We had steak, bakes tatoes, and corn..it was sooo yummy. Roonie and Victoria came by and visited me, it was so nice. it was a great day and I wanted to glow to the world.

Jess came over and gave me my vitamins and walked the dogs and then came back and brought me lunch:) it was nice!

the next day we had cheesburgers and fries which are my favorite.

last night we had roast, mash tatoes, and baby corn for the babies.

this morning lovey made me an omelette, toast and chocolate milk.

its the bestest treatment.

IVF #3...update 15

I wanted to post pics today but I wont lie, Im afraid to move to much...My transfer cord for my camera is somewhere and when lovey gets home from softball Ill ask him to look for it.

Ill tell you about my transfer but Ill edit my post with pics once I get em..

We went in yesterday at 11:30. Lovey asked me to ask them for an update pic. I didnt want to. I was scared they would tell me they both died. So Lovey asked them for one and they gave it to us...

They are beautiful...Our main Dr came in to the retreval room where we where this time and said the blast looked better than they did that morning...Lovey asked him alot of questions but one was...Why did they tell us one died and yet today it is alive...He said they all did arrest but one did start back growing...He didnt seemed suprised but I THINK ITS A MIRACLE!!! I do.



He also told us that we had 3 excellent embryos on day 3 and 3 very good ones and the other 2 where just good. He said he didnt know why they died, he said that maybe they needed to be implanted on day three. Lovey said maybe they just missed their mommy:) I like that reason.



They put in two embryos...one Merola and one early blast. The Merola looked like a better quality but slower, but we have two in there:) We are so having twins!!!



this is when it started.....ticktockticktock

lovey waiting..he is so handsome


and my famous socks:)



Beta is Nov 11th...its so gonna be positive!!!!

IVF #3...update 14

So this morning I wait for a call to see if our one embie is still alive and if it is they will transfer it...Well they called, and they are not transfering one...THEY ARE TRANSFERING TWO!!! thats right..two embies.. ones a merula and the other is an early blast.

Miracles do happen.

This is one of them.

God is good, all the time.

We are looking for a boys name that means miracle or something like that...well matthew mean God gift...So I think we will do Matthew Scoot for a boy and Grace ___ for a girl:)

IVF #3...update 13

we just back from Dr...all but one of the embies died. We have one left, a stage III merola...he wants to put it in tomorrow, let it grow and see what happens.

Im crushed..never saw this coming.

he told lovey again, its an egg quality thing. I disagree..maybe Im in denial, but I disagree. He also said they would have died in me or in the peetry dish..I then explained to lovey that not ness true...is it? Im like that why they like to do transfers on day three because some dont live awesome in a peetry dish, right?

so tomorrow they call with the news if its alive, we go for transfer, if its not, then we are done...maybe for good.