Devotions

Lovey and I try to do devotions every night......It has several questionnaires. One of the questions was- what's your worry right now....and lovey says..I have nothing to worry about.....just my wife worrying.

yeah I like him

Date Night

Lovey came home and asked me to go on a date...I asked him if I had time to get ready ie put a face on....he said yes....and so I did.....

We saw Fast 6 and it was nice to see some fine men but also for them to be all together.

Exercise

so my therapist calls where i walk over a + sign, four square.....and doesnt know why. I call them hard.....hahahahhahaahaah

so Ive only been doing them for like 2 weeks. the goal is two things......everytime I step into the new square, only take two steps and then go as fast as you can.Well, I guess Im my worst credic cause I still count that I take 2 1/2 step each square A LOT but she is now timing me...and the first time she timed me my avg was 9 seconds to make a complete circle and one time of 7.5....now 2 times later I avg 7's and got one 5 seconds.

Lesson: Never give up

I did it!!!

Today is a GREAT day!!! Not only is it a year past my REALLY tough surgery.....I also jumped.....like people jump rope...well 2 weeks ago I could barely jump once and holding on with both hands, then with ALOT of practice and my therapist holding my belt,I jumped....THIS IS A REALLY BIG DEAL!!!!!! 2 sets of 10......

It is what it is.....

One year ago I had my first major surgery. This surgery was and is still super tough but IT SAVED MY LIFE.....

It was a 8 hr double mastectomy and then an 8 hr tram flap. It was a 16 long hours for the family that sat in the waiting room and the nurses and Dr.'s that operated on me. It wasnt long for me!!!! I woke up to lovey saying you were in their for F*&%^() ever then I went to the ICU for four days, then to the regular floor for I think it was two days. I was VERY drugged. I just remember that I was healing super fast. A sponge bath was BY FAR the most painful thing. But I remember laughing hurt, so I tried not to laugh, but my husband with Tommy is a sick/hilarious thing.

this was the night before surgery- please note the black lines on my boobs- there was 4521256 of them which when I slept it got everywhere

When I woke up and they took me to ICU and it was late but Lovey went with my brother and got 4521254 pictures printed and then hung them so when I woke up they were there.....

my youngest brother flew in with the help of Emily

 my handsome lovey

 my sister n law did my nails and my niece did my feet

 Here is the mother that is such a Godsend

 my nephew and niece came almost daily

Tommy with the cute one, not the funny one

I will say it again....it was a super tough surgery to heal from. Im still healing. 

I never showed the below 4 pics but it was a SUPER TOUGH surgery and if I learned anything in the past year is to cut yourself a break, so if your here, remember this.....

 this was my tram flap( where they take your belly fat and make your boobies)

 these are my drains after they were emptied

my new man made belly button

 yeah i was site for sore eyes

 2 weeks later- drains removed!! 

They found cancer in my lymphnodes so I had to have more chemo. A different one since the first round didnt work....

I smiled so much because I was super broken and looking at my smiling face brought me to a much better place....

Exercise

Today is the first day Im not sore which deserves a YAYAYAY!!!

please note to self that after your sore, your balance will be off!!!

I freaken love when someone gives me an affirmation when I do the right thing, so I think it might be the same thing for me.

So their is a patient at my PT place with advanced MS. So I love to watch him and learn from him because our symptoms are very similar. Sooooo I heard him tell someone that he was VERY active- like hiking, running, bike riding and now he can barely walk. Soooooo to make an even long story even longer, hes doing an exercise and he falls and our therapist immediately asks him if he wants to stop and says no an keeps going

now about me: I get super embarrassed that Im sick. So when I do an exercise like jumping I never ever did it in public or in front of anyone.Now after hearing/seeing him do that, I do that and more in front of people.

So me LOVING hearing how I touch people I tell him. He then says to me, Thank you so much for saying that to me, it helps.

so my therapy consisted of 3 sets of cross midlines, eye exercies, 3 sets of squats onto the vibeboard, 3 sets of lunges for 30 seconds held on vibeboard, 3 sets of wallsits, 3 sets of jumps- holding on.....

Also, I freaken LOVE instant gratification ....and I get upset if I dont see it....Well 2 things. My therapist told me to never ever give up and told me about this guy and it took a long time of never ever give up. and I had 2 people this week that told me my speech is way better.....so YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!

Mastectomy

So Angelina has the BRCA gene and therefor has a super high chance of getting breast cancer. She got a double mastectomy to dramatically lower her risk of getting it. Not that it matters what lowly ol me thinks but I totally agree with her decision. What I completely disagree that she says that she does NOT feel like less of a woman. Its impossible. I have had the surgery and they are......different....maybe she doesnt "mind" her new ones cause she has had 4563521 kids, and maybe she LOVES her decision  but to say she doesnt feel like less of a women is impossible. Maybe she does not have sex with Brad or maybe she has no mirrors. Maybe.....

btw when you get a mastectomy they cut your nerves and you have no feeling in your breast or the back of your arms...forever....So sex is ..............different

and you have no nipples or aerolas till you cosmetically have them put on, which maybe she got them and loves them

just my thoughts

btw it sooooooooooooooooooo reminds me when Jlo got pregnant with TWINS and said it was : natural when when I blogged with saw her at appointments for IVF...

Mothers day

So far its been a great Mothers day, granted its not even 10 yet......but I have an idea

Dont complain once about your kids- there are 25458752 people that cant have them. I am one of them. So I have to settle for my DOG waking me up- it is what it is, but for one day be excited that you made them...

Don't get me wrong -I woke up to no kids, no husband ( hes at work) but a huge basket of goodies from my hubby. I am so lucky  NO CANCER AND PUBLIX CAKE!!!!!

Cancer videos

when i was diagnosed

just random

First chemo

first white blood cell count

last day of stylen it curly

2nd chemo

3rd chemo

I went for a petscan to see if the chemo was working

I forwent the final chemo for surgery due to the fact that chemo wasnt working

 I got my drains out 2 weeks after surgery

they found cancer in my lymphnodes which meant more chemo

my final chemo

then i went for radiation

then they found Melanoma so I had to halt radiation and handle this

I finished treatment!!!!

Memories

13 years ago it was a Thursday and Jess brought her 8 week old Sammy to see me and my Mom. We watched friends in the living room and my Mom laid unconscious in the other room. We left and then at 11:40 they called and said she was gone. I called my brother, Jason, house and thank God DJ was in town and at his house. They beat me to hospice....and thank God cause when I saw her my heart ached and then the nurses warned us that her muscle might still twitch. I just wanted to crawl up in bed with her like I had done before......The only thing that helped my ever so aching heart is knowing she was finally dancing/walking with no issues....

I say this cause I NEVER ever thought that the pain would end. Then infertility hit me. Having no Mom and not being a Mom just ached on mothers day. Then I got cancer and my mother n law took off every single day I had a Dr. appt. and went with me, cut her hair for me, made me a book and I could go on and on, but long story, God sent me a Mom when I needed it most....So when they say it will work out, it so does.

So have faith................

Exercise

I never ever know my progress of my journey of fitness so Im gonna keep a journal

Lets see in the last 5 years - I did 4 IVF's got pregnant and then miscarried, lost my Dad to cancer then 3 weeks later lost my job, had MAJOR issues in my marriage  got a brain mass, and then I got and was treated for two cancers on top of have the terminal illness my Mom had. I am writing all this to remind me NOT TO BE EMBARRASSED!!! Like a life long friend has told me, cut yourself a break...so heres my journey back

Today I went to physical therapy where I rode a incumbent bike for 15 minutes, did my rocker board exercises- both ways and balanced for 30 seconds each way, eye tracking exercises, 2 step in a + shape.- with a belt holding me, cross midlines on blue foam with her holding my nofall belt, then she span me in a chair

I came home and stood in the middle of the door jam and jumped, 3 sets of 20. and then I did wall sits 3 sets for 25 seconds

more perspective

so on May 11 and 28th I lost my mom and dad and so Im having a pity party with my self that I had both diseases that they died from...BUT I won against cancer and soon against SCA and a very long time friend lost her mom today from a very long battle with cancer......so I got instead of my pity party I got MORE perspective...be happy for what you have- choose happiness.