Ivf #4 update 30 and final

Beta in...negative..

im too sad to post more....

Im pregnant:)

Its a thursday, Feb4th. Lovey is with me. We go in a 9:30 for my beta. I cry through the whole thing. They think that I have already tested and it was negative and that is why Im so sad...Im like no, this is just our final one...and its always no.

So Lovey takes me to cracker barrel. Then to Kohls and Marshalls to pass the time...We get home and about 20 minutes later my cell rings...its Dr Gelman.
in the best and most postive voice
Your beta is positive
a low positve but a positive....Im like what...he says, you need a 5 to be pregnant and you have a 6...he tells me to come back monday and retest....make sure I keep on all my meds...
I hang up and tell lovey, were pregnant but im probably gonna miscarry...I cry. Mom comes in and when she gets off the phone, I tell her. She thinks Im lying...I tell her no...we are pregnant...
I talk to my family and friends and they all reassure me that it will be perfect.

A girl on a message board I am at alot had a dream that my beta went to twohundres something....I LOVE that...
a friend that went through this told me that every pregnancy has to have some drama...this is mine...She also told me that this fear I have will never go away..she says first its the beta, then its 12 wks, then viability, then hope they deliver after the shower, then when they are born about nursing and then sickness, then shots and it never ends................

so days go by...ive hardly gone online because there is so much negativity and Im scared to see it and convince myself that I will miscarry...
well i have prayed and prayed that God is with me regardless to this outcome...Well Im at such a peace. I feel so wonderful.
I do feel sick sometimes when I dont eat. Ive still got the vomit burbs. My boobs are still sore...I hope and pray this is it.


so until proven otherwise im so pregnant!
update...tomorrow

IVF#4 update 29

i woke up this am with the following signs....

boobs still hurt like woah even though the did fade back a day
sill vomit burbs which are awesome...not
cramps are not as intense as they were for a few days which I love. They were like period cramps that came and went.

today i am spending time with friends...I hope Im distracted.

tomorrow is superbowl in whcih I have a super cute outfit for...yes it includes socks!!!

I was afraid to start taking belly shots but I think I wont be afraid....Ill be sad if this all works out and I have no pics from the first few days being the camera whore I am.

I believe now more than ever that God is with me. I have such a peace about this. Please continue to pray!

IVF #4 update 29

so I looked BREIFLY at low betas...I wont look alot so I wont be discouraged because I believe that this is in Gods hands...not mine.

so I found a blog where she ask people to leave comments of low betas that have children....these are just some of them...

so leave your comment of the same or just pray:)

All right, my similarly low beta started kindergartent this year; does that count?

As near as I can remember, the initial beta (13 days after 3-day transfer) was 27. Two days later, it was 50 something - not quite doubling. It took four more days before we went from barely-doubling to more-than-doubling. Take heart.

For my IVF they did the first beat at 16dpo (13dp3dt) it was 105. They dont do a second beta unless the number is under 100. 1 week later they did an ultrasound and found a gest sac which was small for the dates they had and they did another beat. That was 23dpo, it was 482. My RE told me to expect this to be a blighted ovum and to prepare for bad news. He did another beta at 26dpo and that was 947. Finally at 31dpo they found a heartbeat. All along they told me my numbers were low, the gestational sac was small and even after they found a heartbeat they said things werent as good as they had hoped.

I am happy to say I am now 15 weeks. Even non doubling beta numbers arent always a bad thing. You doubled and I am very optimistic for you. I am so so so happy!!
I've Googled the crap out of low betas (I had a 14... yikes) and everything I've read has said it's not the number, it's the doubling.
Besides, your numbers sound great!
Hang in there.

IVF #4 update 28

beta is in its a 6

we need a 5 for pregnancy..so im pregnant....

the dr asked me to come in monday...

maybe there late implanters....pray pray pray

If the number doesnt go up then im miscarrying....lets pray thats NOT the case.

IVF#4 update 27

I cried during my beta..They asked me if I had tested and I told them no im just nervious....They havew never seen me not bubbly and here I am sobbing.

pio last week was i think he said 57...like really good.

they did an ultrasound to make sure that my ovaries were good...they are:) he said I look perfect...my lining was a 16...nice and thick...

he said i needed to believe...I said that we were having twins...and he looked up to God and said out of her lips to your ears...

they call after 4 today to let us know.

im very emtional, maybe thats a sign of pregnancy....my lining is thick which is GREAT and my pio is awesome too!!!!

Lovey is taking me shopping to get my mind off this as much as possible...we were gonna go to a movie but it will end to late....we cant miss this call

IVF #4 update 26

So today I go for my beta...life will change one way or the other in a BIG way. I hope, pray, and have faith that God will give me the desires of my heart. My desire is that he will make his will happen in my life...so tomorrow whatever he has planned will happen...

my Dad told me a long time ago that we are just a small piece of a giant puzzle....

I think it may be a good time go visit my moms grave...I go there to remember..if I got through that, then I can get through this....

Lord, be with me today.

My mother n law is coming to be with me when I get the call...gosh I love her.

Ivf #4 update 25

This is the picture that I took before I started my 4th IVF in my nurses office...

I BELIEVE

IVF #4 update 24

k..so I calmed down. I talked to a REALLY good friend of mine that has walked in my shoes before and it soothed my soul..and no im not kissing her ass because i know she might be reading this....hahahahha

she told me something that stuck with me...Believe...Believe that God is with you especially during this time. Either outcome he is with you...

Im not gonna test....beta thursday am.

it was so good to laugh and cry today...thanks amanda...luv u

IVF #4 update 23

Im gonna test tonight. I have one digi test..

Lovey called me this am and I was crying. AGAIN. He asked why am I tortoring myself...just test, then we will know.

Im usually not this much of a mess but since this is our final IVF and we are done with our TTC journey, it breaks my heart. It so final.

So tonight I will test...lets hope I pass...but I will probably fail since I always do....not that I havent studied...haha

IVF #4 update 22

I woke up this am with less sore boobs

11dpt3dt

IVf #4 update 21

I went back to see my symptoms and its not real specific.....ugggg

its 10dpt3dt....boobs still very sore..the got less sore for a half day on like 6dpt3dt....
vomit burbs, not alot but like a few aday
bloated yesterday and today
AF cramps yesterday and today
Was not tired last night at like 11pm...mind racing if im prego or not....

I called the Dr to try and get them to do beta tomorrow..she said no...its too early. The used to do them wednesday but now they are closed so they are doing thursday.. she asked me to not take a pee test because it may say no and be wrong.

I told her I wanna hear her say that my beta is 7million and i must have 521254 in there ahhahahahahahahh

Ivf #4 update 20

So today is 13DPO...Lovey wants me to test..but I dont want to. As soon as I do I feel like it will be the end of our long TTC battle with a negative.

Lovey told me last night...well if its negative than we know we gave it more than %100...which I agree with but its so hard...

I hope I'm wrong and that its positive. I truly do. But its always no.

I may wait till my beta thursday.....

Ivf #4 update 19

K. I went to the Dr to have my progesterone and E2 checked....
They ask how I feel

I said I feel sooooooooooo pregnant!!!

You do?

No, hahah but its a GREAT positive affirmation:)

So far...my boobs are still way sore...I get waves of nausia that I feel is hormone related not prego related...but i hope I'm wrong. and lots of cramping...all different kinds of cramping goin on down there....

beta is Thursday..

I may give in and test monday....maybe

EDIT: 45215487 pimples on my face, neck and chest

Im burping a little puke in my mouth, but I did that last cycle too.

IVF #4 update 17

i have zero symptoms...

I get nauseated ever now and again but I know its way to early.

I have 2 pimples on my face.

I need a shower. yestereday.

Ivf #4 update 16

So yesterday was our retreval....

We got there and Loveys mom was told how blessed she was to have a daughter like me...then they realized that Lovey was her son..hahahha So I intro myself to the embryologist. The came in and loved my socks! And Lovey wrote on my belly, "Welcome Home" and they looooooooooooooooved that....like brought people in to see my belly saying that was a first....:)



no those arnt where Aliens landed on my belly...Those are my estrogen patches:)

So our nurse came in and made us sign papers/consents on the number of embryos they put in me...she said we had 2 6 cells...I wont lie I was sad that one died. So the embryolosist came in and told me that we had three...Our nurse was like omg, im so sorry..I started crying, tears of joy of course!!! I had to sign the paper that is was 3 not 2.they were all 6 cells.

So we have 3 6 cell embyies in me right now.

Here are my cutie socks...


As they were inserting tem into me..the Dr that did my retreval said..do you feel the morning sickness yet? hahhaha and then i asked if I could see them ( a picture) and he said, yeah in 9 months....I LOVE that answer!!

Beta is Feb 4th:)

Ivf #4 update 15

Today at 3 is the day. I am nervious. I woke up at 3:30 for an hour, Im so nervious. I wanted to write down sypmtoms that I have BEFORE the babies are put in my.

My boobies hurt like ohh my and have for days.
My Ass hurts from the shots.
The start of a yeast infection

ivf #4 update 14

k, i want to start of by saying i love my Dr's office..



yesterday I wasnt able to speak to the nurse because I was so sad..but Lovey did. She told him that the embrylosist told her that three that did fertilize where a good match and looked really good....she also told him that when they were taking out the eggs they thought that most of them wernt good...well I call today. because Im in a way better place today and she tells me that I shouldnt be sad. The hormones arnt helping either. She told me that my babies dont wanna hear that I wanted other babies instead of them and if I keep it up she would call CPS on me for not wanting them..haahha I told her that its not that I dont want them...I wanted three to put back...but what if they die? She asked me to hang on...She comes back and tells me if I wait a few minutes the Embryologist will go and check on them...He comes back and say I have 2 2 cells and 1 four cell!! He said they look GREAT!!!



So Im on the happy train!!!



and i LOVE my Dr.'s office...

Ivf #4 update 11

This am I woke up in a better mood. I knew I would. I just needed a moment to be sad. Its funny how I used to litaraly only need like 20 minutes and know I need a full day. Damn Infertility

I go at noon to get a massage. I have alot of stuff to do around the house today.

Our Transfer is at noon. We will be putting 3 embrios in our womb to implant for the next 9 or so months then we will have our baby...

I will write on our belly...Welcome Home Lovey Doveys!

This will be it.

We will get pregnant.

IVF #4 update 10

now I know that we said we would for sure put three back and that we wernt sure on four...and yes I know that my embies dont live past day 4 really...but i wont lie. Im sad. Lovey went to the store. I think he just had to get out of the house...He said to me..You may not agree with me, but Im glad this is our last one...I dont disagree with him. at all.

Im sad, why not a better result? was it the caffeine I drank...was it the lack of acupuncture...was it the lack of yoga. Its all going through my head.

I hope on Friday they are all growing strong!!!! That will be a good report.

this is soooo hard