IVF #2 update 15

Tonight at 5:03 we got the call when they told us at 9am it would be noon.

Its negative.

I wont lie, its rough. More rough then I thought it would be after the call the other day say it probably wouldnt be a positive...

Ive cried and cried.

We are going to meet with the Dr this next week to see what the next step is. We are switching Dr.'s within the practice. He is running two blood test to see whats up with my ovaries, we hope to move on with round 3 after they take care of my cyst. We probably wont do PGD again either.

Im officially up 10 lbs with these two IVFs.

Im taking this time to find the positive. I get to have some overdue "quality time" with my husband. I started a gluten free diet, started my monavie again, and acupuncture. And yes, tomorrow, some Champagne

Thanks Jess for coming over to hug me. luv u

IVF #2 update 14

Well I just woke up from the Dr calling. He just wanted to check on me. He said that he doesn't want me to test ( they always says that) He then told me that he thinks this cycle wont work because my embryo wasn't dividing fast enough. He said Im not spotting because I am on the PIO shots. He said that IF the test is negative than they want to test me for two things because my ovaries are responding like a 41 year old. He thinks this is why I havent gotten pregnant for the past 2 1/2 years on my own, I produce poor eggs. He offered me to use donor eggs.

Im trying to find the light in this.

IVF #2 update 13

Since technically I am still pregnant...let me just say that I am so blessed that I don't have any real pain...no nautea, minor cramping, my boobies don't hurt...this will be awesome if it stays like this for 9 months:)

Positive thinking...

IVF #2 update 12

I chickened out this am and didnt test. my boobs are just sore on the nipple area....period like cramps, very gassy. Hungary but full all the time. These could be PMS symptoms or prego ones....hmmm

i might wait till beta thursday am...lovey is DYING for me to test though. I might give in tonight....

IVF #2 update 11

I woke up this am and my boobies are way less sore:( this is not a good sign....

IVF #2 update 10

So I sit here on my 2nd day of bedrest...Thats right. We have a lil one growing inside of me.

So yesterday was stressful to say the least...Lovey, Jess and I went to the Dr.'s having no idea of the PGD results...Well, after waiting an hour in the suite where they do the ET, the Dr came in and told us the news. He said that two of the three embrios were affected, which means they would have in fact of had my sickness. One did not. The one from this cycle that was a 6 cell perfect with no fragmentation...they took one cell out and it was then a 7 cell. By day 5 it was back to 8 with a little frag...They graded it an 8 cell grade 3...The highest is 4. So he said, I wont lie, I do wish it were a blast, but the one we have is nice too...
We dedicated the sick embrios to science. They take them apart and then research a cure for my sickness....so YaY for that!!!

So he put it in me. I sang and tried to keep calm. Yes, I did sing "If all the rain drops were lemondrops and gumdrops oh what a day that would be"...the dr found it funny. I found it to relax me. Lovey thought I talked to much. I was just trying to remain calm, but the unknown was killing me. But it was so NOT painful at all. It was the least painful thing throughout this whole ordeal.

Sooooo...pics you say?

ok...
Our first baby picture:)

im waiting so patiently

this is what Lovey did again

Heres a picture of my jess and the dirty mirror

were making a baby.....

the famous dildocam

k, dont move.....

my jess's feet

texting the fam the good news

funfunfun

see he loves me:)

ride home sweet home...

scared

Today I sit here so scared. My lil babies are being tested to see if they are like their mamma...Which I hope they are but not in the way they are looking for.

We only have 3 being tested. I hope we have all 3 that are well, but there is the chance that all of them can be sick. They are having us come to Kendall tomorrow to get the results. Im scared for the news and because my Jess and my MIL will be coming with us for the transfer, and so I hope they arnt coming for no reason.

I talk to my little bro today and he told me..Cass, if they are sick, oh well. If I were you I would put them in. BTW the Dr wont do this. But he is telling me of a girl who almost died last week and now they found out that it is lupus and she is in speech therapy and physical therapy. She cant walk or talk right. He is like Cass, you can take out the babies from them having your SCA but I would love to have you SCA then Althimers anyday. It was nice that he has my back.

There is a girl on the message board I live on. she had PGD too and she got 5 embies and 4 were perfect and only one was inconclusive. I hope we have the same results:) The sickness in her embrios were 50/50 like mine. And she has a little one from it.

Thank the lord that she is there to help me along with another girl that is sooo supportive:) I wont lie, its been nice. This is so stressful.

I called my Dr's office and was told that I need to be WAY more positive!!

So please pray for me....

IVF #2 update 10

k...the Dr office called..this wait is kicking my butt....
We have:
one 4 cell that is almost a 5 cell with very minimal fragmentation
one 6 cell that is perfect
one blast frozen from last time

They already biopsied them and they are already on their way to Genesis Genetics for the PGD...so no decision for me to make:) thats the best. I know I would have been scraed to biopsy them if since they wernt perfect 8 cells...so yay for that...now the hard part, waiting to see how many arnt infected....tick toc...

The best news would have been all 3 from this cycle were 8 cells and rocken plus the one from last time, but only 2 we have plus last time. She said that even thought they arnt 8 cells, they look really good. They have there own nucleus? And this is good?

please pray!!!!!

We dont find anything else out till Tuesday!!!

IVF #2 update 9

This morning was my egg retreval. It was WAY better than last time as in: I wasnt nervious, Lovey made is donation at home, there was no traffic, there was no wait, and I am recovering sooooo much better than last time!!!

I brought my Jess with me to be my support and poparzzi. We were home by 10:45 this am...yayayayyay..here are some pics of our great day.

BTW, he got eggies which we dont think a few were mature..so tomorrow am we get the fert report:)

this is at 6:50am with Loveys "donation"

they called me and and Jess aid QUICK lets take a pic:)

yeah Im even funny at the buttcrack of dawn

ME: So Jess what did you guys do for over an hour while I was in there?
Jess: I just gave him my Iphone for him to play games.
ME: did it work?
Jess: HaHa, oh yeah

this is my poporazzi

this is my awesome paper dress..i felt like a doll if I only had paper tabs to put it on me...

He tried to beat Jess's score and couldnt..hahahha

me after the procedure under warm blankets...

my jess and I right after my munchkins taken out of me

Here is my AWESOME IVF nurse...she did EVERYTHING

Im all done, ready to go home

The nurse said that I was the onloy one to wear such cute socks both times....

my jess and I after I was all done

its sooooooooooooooo good to feel GREAT!!!

me and my spook on the couch


we rearranged the living room because we were given a HUGE fish tank and we have to make room for our Christmas tree, you know tomorrow is christmas..hahaha But I am sooo happy we did this before my ET because the couch is in perfect alignment with the TV..yay!!! I have 93 episode of freinds TIVO'd for my bedrest.

sorry my spellcheck is not working:(

IVF #2 update 8

So tomorrow is my big day..Its time to take the eggies I have been baking out of this oven and make little loveys....I go in tomorrow am at 7:00am. The Dr said he is happy he waited a day to trigger me. My lining was 11.3. I have 7 follies that he plans on using. I have more but he doesnt think they will be big enough...Lets hope he is wrong:)

Today was loveys birthday and we went to Ronnie and his favorite place, Sonny's. It was a good time. I love him so much.

This cycle of IVF has been hard on both of us. I am tired of being so tired and he is tired of hearing me say that I am tired..hahaha.. So sad, but so true. The first thing I will do when I get home from the ER is drink some monavie:) and everyday after till my ET.

MY Jess is going and she said that she will take lots of pics...I hope she does:) I really dont like how I look right now, but it is what it is.

Pray that tomorrow will rock!

IVF #2 update 7

Today I went for another date with the dildo cam. The Dr was the director of this awesome machine. In the past he has been a bit rough and today he wasnt..yay!!!

I have to say that I never saw being "monitored" everyday or getting 4 and 5 shots a day would be my life, but it is.

So I saw the Dr. today and he told me that he was suprised that I am not responding to the meds as well as last time and they have upped the dosage 4x's.... I have 2 follies on the right side and 5 on the left. I have more but these are the ones he said he can use.

Im really truly trying to stay positive and honestly I'm to tired to be angry or negative. I dont want to talk to anyone because Im afraid Im not gonna be so nice or have to explain why I just dont wanna talk. Im just soooo tired.

Its hard not working with my brothers anymore. I went from talking to my youngest brother multiple times a day to once a week, if im lucky. I wont lie, this is not fun, especailly when I am going through all this and also I hear that him and my other brother are soooo close and hang out all the time. I mean I am so happy for them, but I feel left out:(

Our nieces went back to NC where they live. We will miss them ALOT. It was fun to have them here and kept my mind of IVF as much as possible considering Im so tired I feel like walking is hard...

IVF #2 update 6

Good Morning!!!

I went for another count this morning....I didnt get any new info accept that my Endo layer is 9.8 which is climbing really good. The nurse said I may stem till tuesday and have the ER on thursday...but they are going to call me and let me know.

Yesterday was very informative. They told me I have 4 on the right and 7 on the left depsite my cyst which is 25mm...my lining was 8.1. I saw that the ones on my right side wernt so big...hmmmm

One of my veins they always use to suck my blood is not working so well:( So I had to get stuck twice.

when Lovey mixed my menopur this am, it leaked out from the syring...2 VIALS....omg!!! and now they are saying I may do my meds longer than expected which would mean I would have to order even more drugs. Thank the Lord for insurance.

Im still tired, nothings new....

IVF #2 update 5

I went for a count today.
We have 4 on the left and 4 on the right. They think I might have one in the cyst on my left side but they arnt counting it just in case the Dr doesnt use it. I also have a small one the didnt count either. My estrogen went from a 44 to a 241 from Sunday. The nurse said this is good. My lining is 5.5, a little on the thiner side but she said it was double lining which they look for...i have never heard of that before? hmmmm

The said that they are working to get my follies nice and plump and ready....they didnt care about the cyst...so yay!!!

Still is looking like Monday for retreval.

IVF #2 update 4

We went to the Dr today for our first follicle count...The nurse was a girl that I have spoken too 125478548 times but never have met face to face, so it was overdue that I meet her. It was nice, she was nice. So she goes in and she is ever so gentle which I wont lie, I REALLY liked, but she came across my cyst and she was taken back by it soooo much. I might as well not had anymore follicles because she couldnt look past my cyst. I have 5 follicles on the right side. I only have 2 and a cyst on the other side. And if my husband didnt point out the two on the left side, she wouldnt have counted them. So she tells me that they may cancel my cycle. This is not good, she says. I tell her REPEATEDLY that the Dr saw the cyst the other day and told me he wanted me to stim anyway. I then asked, is it alot bigger? So when we went to the counter to look at the computer to compare last time to this and she confirmed that it wasnt bigger at all. I explained that although it is nice to only pay 452.00 per month for cobra instead of the 20k for out of pocket, paying the cobra is tough seeing how i dont have a job right now. She is like, you want to get pregnant right? Im like yes, obviously that is what I want very badly, but I just dont to forgo this cycle unless the Dr feels that I truly should. ( I didnt understand how if the cyst was no bigger from when the Dr saw it, why should we forgo?)
She told me that the Dr would review my chart and they would call me.

Lovey and I went to breakfast and I tried to not be worried. I truly am.

The nurse called and told me that I have to up my meds to 300IU if follistem and 300IU of menopur. This is 4 vials of menopur compared to the one last time. I dont even have enough meds to make it through tomorrow night. So I have to go get meds tomorrow. I wont lie, I am stressing or just moody. Either arnt fun.

Lovey is making one of my favorite dinners tonight, so YaY for that.

IVF #2 update 2

I went to the Dr. on Monday. My last BC pill is Sunday. My ultrasound to get this second party started is Tuesday. We go on vacation this weekend starting tomorrow to Sun....Its gonna be some gooooooood times.

I have had some on and off spotting and the Dr said its no big deal. I have also had alot more moodiness this time...which is no fun. My husband hasn't noticed but I have. I don't like my dog very much right now and I usually have more patience with her. Nope, all gone. The Dr told me to give myself a break. 2 months of hormones will do it to anyone. But I told her Im not even on shots yet. She laughed and told me to relax. And they told me I can have champagne/wine at the lake. But only one cup of caffeine and no splenda...Alcohol but no diet products or coffee...nice?????

the schedule for right now is...Antagonist protocol
Follistim
Baby aspirin
Menopur
Ganirelix

Shots Wednesday
ER Aug 3
ET Aug 8
Beta Aug 17

I had my first dream the other day that I had a baby. She was a little girl. I had to ask Lovey if we were still naming her grace because it had been so long since we started trying and he said yes...so we had a little Gracie. Usually my dreams consist of me being pregnant then at 7 months they say there is no baby in there, or I go to deliver and there is no baby. Now we had a little girl.

My life is in the Lords hands. Please pray for me:)

my Dads wife is still not talking to us. I found out that she told all of the Malaysian company that me and my brother quit, that she didn't let us go. BTW as of today she has not let anyone else go. Sweet.

IVF#2 update

I spoke to the insurance company and they informed me that for sure that there is no limit to the amount of cycles that we can do. So as long as we have insurance,we have IVF coverage.

I spoke to the nurse today. Once I get my cycle I start the new pills. I will do a min of 21 days of pills and probably not lupron at all.

The embryologist called and told me we have one perfect blast. Its already hatching so he is going to biopsy it. The other 3 didnt make it.