i make my fairytale

I wanted to tell you that I am having alot of BAC time..."Bad ass Cass" but there has been ALOT of tears and confusion and weightloss that seems to have gotten me here.

I keep telling myself that my body is temple...and I need to treat it better than I have...so no more sadness, no more not eating. I am the only one who can rock me and so guess what? I am.

Before I was waiting on my husbands response to me to decide my mood....Now, no more. IF he wakes up tomorrow and says, crap, what have I done..then that happens but I am no longer waiting for that or him to be nice to me. He is gonna be real angry when he sees the divorce papers, but oh well. I was angry when he cheated and lied. So oh well...and seeing the new movie "Love and other drugs" makes me want a better life cause seeing that and it being a script from my life, makes me want more. I want a partner that supports me in my illness, my photography, my walk with God...and Gary did none of those.

I will keep praying for his salvation. But I dont want that anymore. I want someone who adores me like I adored Gary. I wont lie that I am sad that I did that for 8 years and the rejection sucks, but I have and am growing from it and want more so I have to realize that its ok....

please keep praying that I stay strong...