pray

so some of you have seen from my facebook that Lovey and I have split. Yes its true. I have definetly gone through all the emotion from crying so hard i was puking to thinking that he is a jerk for doing this to me.

He says we grown apart and that he doesnt love me. No, there were no signs. I didnt see it coming but he said he is tired of faking it, which I wont lie hurts so much. I didnt know we were faking it. I adore him. But I can justify his actions all day of why he is doing this but the bottom line, is he did. And for a week I was broken hoping he would wake up one day and be like, what have I done? but he hasnt.

My Jess told me the other day that I have to truly believe this is where I see one set of prints in the sand because God will carry me through.

Now I have ALOT of insecurities but my friend told me something so profound last night....you have survived the worst of it and look you still woke up and are here. This is the beginning, not the end.

So I will take this time to see a Christian Counselor and find my happy place again. Because as much I say that the past two years have been hard for Lovey, it been so hard for me and I can't fix him. Between my Dad getting Cancer and dying and then his wife firing us 3 weeks later and then dealing my brokeness of my brother, and the 4 IVF's and the getting pregnant and miscarrying and then having the sickness that my mom died from..its alot...so I need to heal. I try and bury all of it because i think Im strong if I can but I am broken and to have a breakthrough you have to broken and I am.

So please pray for me.

I have an amazing family that adores me.
I have a best friend that has held me up when i couldnt even stand.
I have a Lord that loves me and wants me to prosper that I have let the devil tell me how he doesnt love me.
I have the cutest nieces and nephews that help me smile when all I want to do is cry.
My business has been blessed beyond words.
I have a friend that has given me 4521548 passes to fly on Southwest airlines for free