Prayers please 2nd edition

So I sit here in Texas, so much has gone on. I am very overwhelmed.

First things first my brother is on a weekend getaway which is more than needed. My older brother got approved for 175k and found some houses for 150k and was going to make an offer on them. When they asked for the preapproval letter, it came back that because of his debt/income ratio, he is only approved for 135k. He was more than bummed..well it made him look at more houses. So we found a house bigger than before, built in 04. 3200 squ ft for 138k. IT is a foreclosure. Well he made an offer and GOT IT!!! Well they countered at 138k and got it. YaY! So good news in a rough week.

My Dad had to put off radiation because the Dr’s don’t know that he can handle both the chemo and radiation at the same time. So they scheduled chemo for this Monday. So I changed my ticket to come home a week later to be here for his first week of chemo. Well they checked his heart at his request last Friday and they found some issues. He may have a blood clot in his arm from the dye of the bone scan. Then they found a blockage in his heart. They wont know till they do another test Wednesday how serious it is. But chemo has been postponed again. They don’t know when they will start. Annnd I just found out that a nodule in his lung could not be removed in his surgery. It is showing “hot” on the pet scan. They won’t know if it’s hot from cancer or bruised from surgery. The thing that scares me is he constantly out of breath and having pain in his chest. What if it is cancer spreading and causing the symptoms of the lung cancer. The nodules they removed where already Stage 2b, so what if the nodule left in there was that and has gotten worse in the 8wks since surgery…..so many questions. I just keep telling myself that it is what it is.

So I went to stay with him for a few days..Last night and all day today. He yelled at me twice about my brothers….nice, not me. But my brothers. I broke down and cried. I am so done with taking the blame or explaining things for my brothers for issues that arnt real issues, but my Dad being irrational, they are issues. So I call my brothers GF and asked her to come get me. We went to church, then to dinner and now we are home. I told my Dad we will be there in the am. He wanted me to stay but watching CNN 24 hrs a day and having him lecture me is just too much.

I cant wait to come home this Thursday to hug my Lovey and play with my animals but most of all not have anyone yell at me or lecture me anymore. Im tired and need a break. I can only be strong for everyone so much then I am done. Well I am done.

I am sad because I talk on the phone with my jess to vent and have some friend therapy but I cant that much because it is like 2457854558 degrees outside and DJ’s GF is in the house and can hear and when I am at work everyone can hear me…so here is my post.


please keep em coming