I lived....now live

so 2 years ago i had a super long surgery and became cancer free.....Here is the story...... This surgery was super hard, but im so glad for all the love shown me during a hard time from my recliner, my husband, a maid, i could go on and on....
here is me on that day

and just now

I prayed for this day sitting hopeless with my drains and living on pills....and its here. im going to cracker barrel tonight.

every night turns into dawn...............

everything was sooooo different 2 years ago.......

2 years ago i still had cancer
2 years ago , they found it in my lymph nodes
2 years ago i had no hair and now i have enough that is froing hence why no pics....
2 years ago one of my many doctors drew all over me

2 years ago i prayed for this day to come
2 years ago i was sure i would die in surgery because my mom and dad died in may

to be continued tomorrow.......

lucky me

may 14- went out to my car and there was a card on the windshield, had a bad sore throat and he brought me home soup and vitamin water may 15- made me breakfast sandwiches even though we only had two eggs. went to bank and paid mortgage. may16 may 17- made burgers for our guest because i luv them may 18- may 19-text me that he loved me may 20-bought me a magazine and said i am with you when i sneesed

choose to be thankful

so yesterday was mothers day where celebrate mothers everywhere....it was also the anniversary of my Mom dying in hospice.....so im reminded about all infertility, the miscarrige, the fact ill never have children, and that my Mom has a great seat to see what kind of girl i am......

so a list of things to be thankful it is:
1.  have a husband that still likes me
2. my hair is getting long enough to style it
3. a mother n law that loves me alot
4. my husband got me a chillow which i pray works
5. i have become friends with the people loveys bowl with

Im super happy that children have their parents, just be thankful that you have them

thankful

so last night i had a mini meltdown...ok it as full on. so a thankful list i do...............

1. my neice came over and painted my toes and she hates feet.

2. my friend came over and painted my fingers for easter

3. my husband helped me get ready for easter

4. i dont have cancer

5. i dont have cancer

Amanda Lynn

just like the song..she made her dreams come true.....and it is so beautiful......i hope that you will join us for the grand opening party on Friday, April 11th

use me

I heard that when you make something/anything about others, it makes you focus on that instead of whatever/you.....so when i have my cancer free check i always try to focus on others because I am super emotional and if I dont, I cry.alot.

so I get to the clinic and see an amazing soul, that finished chemo before me and now has gorgeous, long hair....I see that she checked in on fb and so I copy her.......then i see someone that I took pics of years ago is there, having her first chemo by her daughter leaving a comment on my FB check in......so i focused on trying to help her.....I sat and talked to her forever and she told me a few times, that God sent me today and i agreed.....i felt so good to tell her- here i am....you got this....believe in yourself.....so it may have helped her but it sooooo helped me..... it can get super dark but knowing that someone one else just did it and made it, is a great feeling which i want to share that with others.....

here she is and her gorgeous daughter