Yay!!

So I'm planning an anniversary party for a one year of no cancer in November and was afraid that the biopsy I had a week ago would show that I have cancer again and I still don't so I'm having a party....

Im soooooooooooooooo relieved thats its not cancer!!!!

this is my ouch but please dont be Cancer face

and this is my happy its not cancer face

Recheck

I had my recheck for my progress from my PT. Well to make a long story short, I am better in ways but the same in others. But more importantly, Im not worse!!!

and he gave me more PT twice a week for FREE!!! Im so giddy..

It is a VERY slow progression, so its good it been 5 months to show I am getting better because its like watching a pot of water boil.

And so random but as Im writing my story for the blog of Fight like a girl, I wrote how I fought like a girl and kicked TWO cancers ass....and as Im writing this it becomes clear- or clearER that Im WAY better then a year ago.....WAY so yayayayay me

and to say it again, I freaken love my husband....

Hot flashes

THEY ARE NOT FUN

I had them during chemo and then they went away which i loved......then they came back one I started tamoxifen, like I missed them or something.....Some days I only have like 5 but yesterday I had like 5 an hour...ugggg. My electric bill wont love it and it being summer here in Florida I think doesnt help it.

but the silver lining is my neauropathy has turned into numbness instead of pins and needles in my hands and feet and I just wished last time I only had a few things to complain about- not everything....and now, I dont know if I am just used to the crap but its nice NOT to have everything wrong..

speaking of wrong...I had another spot on my arm that they biopsied. Please pray its nothing but a hole with stitches and not skin cancer again..

I read something so wise the otherday.....God created chemo brain so you dont remember the very dark place that you were once in....and its so correct. When I read some entries from a group of cancer survivors, I had forgotten some of the side effects....so there is a silver lining to chemo brain....

Also I saw a video of a woman that has cancer again :( which is not good but she put into words so many things about Breast Cancer like about how after chemo and surgery you have no pride left with your spouse....And she says her husband is such an angel......and so is mine. And with chemo brain it is sometimes difficult to put into words.

Here's her amazing video http://supportthefightagainstbreastcancer.com/?p=1942#7qbwXwvblvf7k7DL.01

Also so random but it is so nice to go bowling once a week with lovey. Forever he took off and did everything for me and never complained so to go out once a week to bowl with his great friends is so nice.....

Hair

Today after a year of waiting....and at one part , I thought I would never ever get here.......but today, I highlighted my hair!!!

this was before

then after

and my Amanda- hair stylist told me that my hair is growing now lighter then before....so yayay!!!

For all those people that told me it was just hair, I loved highlighting my just hair!!!!

Recovery

Im watching Gulliana on Access Hollywood and AGAIN I can so relate to her.....She was saying how Bill was so awesome going to every appointment but in the middle of the night when she woke up in a panic- he would calm her.....and mine was privately too that he would calm my nerves....

and she also said that for at least a year she would only see her scars out of the shower and disliked the way she looked ad said how when your going through it you just want to end up alive.....and are not vain but after treatment your like what have I done and you just want to be pretty again...

these things she said are soooooo true.....

being in this place, although it can be dark, I still prefer it here versus at the starting line.....

complaining

my husbands assistant manger was in a REALLY bad car accident like 4 months ago, making him not work and my husband work 6 days a week....You think he ever complains...NOPE...but I do..... He gets up daily at 5:30 and works till 6pm but i complain....his constant drycleaning, his constant laundry.and he came home last night and scrubbed the kitchen....

and you wonder why hes my favorite thing