The best is still yet to come....

In my last post I talked about alot of what ifs...well the cancer has spread to my dads brain. He spoke to the brain surgeon this morning and he said that they are just going to monitor the cancer for now. They did a CT scan of his lungs and they said his lung was partially colapsed. I asked if they could see if the chemo is working yet and was told by my stepmom that the Dr will be calling to tell them any info. They are going tomorrow to the hospital to drain some liquid from his lung.

Ill say again that I know that my step mother is under alot of stress but manoman she is being soooo mean.

Its fun not only trying to cope with your Dad possibly dying but then to have my step mom just be so evil..well its just wonderful. And then to claim to be a woman of God, well thats sad. I pray that God opens my eyes and helps me understand it all and to give her peace so she isnt so broken.

I got my period today. This is not good because we actually were together, had lots of "quality time" but its good because I took Maca root this month. It lengthened my cycle even though that is not a known side effect. It made me in an amazing mood everytime I took it. I really liked it. But today I got my period, so no babies. yet.
If we were pregnant, the baby would have been due on my dads birthday of April 12th and with all this nonesense it would have been nice. unlikely, but nice.

I am leaving for Chicago in 2 weeks, I am very excited about this. Victoria is having our nephew soon, then I will go see my Dad.

I don’t know what to title this post.

Hard Core?
Heartless?
Heart of stone?
I have no heart?
Denial much?
All Wrong?

I just found out that my step mother cant even talk she is so upset by what the Dr. just told her about my Dad. The Dr. told her a few things.
1. They don’t know if the Chemo is responding because its only been one session.
2. The found 3 nodules on his right lung that are enlarged= cancer. They will not operate.
3. He is complaining of shortness of breath and 45245788 million other things and in turn his Dr told him that maybe the cancer has spread to his brain.
4. They gave him worst case scenario 1 year and best case 2 years to live IF THE CHEMO IS NOT WORKING....but they don’t know yet.

Now this is not good news. None of this has been. and I don’t know if I am in denial or just an ass because I feel like: It is what it is. IF he has brain cancer, we will find out after his cat scan tomorrow. IF the chemo is not helping, then we will face that when we find out...but to get upset over all the IF's is unnecessary. I feel like this is horrible enough without adding to all with all of the IF's...What IF he is fine and the chemo is working better than they have ever scene. What IF he is just complaining about everything because he is on 54452575 million different drugs and there is no brain tumor? It can go either way. I think we have enough to deal with right here without all of the IF's.

Now watch that I was told this side of the story from my brother and it is inaccurate. Watch that it is so much worse.

Now that will be fun wont it? Talk about putting foot into mouth.

What a GREAT month!!!

So this month is getting better and better. I feel very surrounded by friends and haven’t laughed with them, this much in a VERY long time...and boy does it feel good.

We went to the Improv with our sister n law and her husband, Loveys twin.. What a great time, except us having to walk UP 5 flights of stairs which was a lovely reminder how out of shape my fat ass is...When a 9month, HUGELY pregnant girl doesn’t even complain, yeah that makes me feel so wonderful.




6 weeks to go



my husband took pictures at the lake of friends of ours and he cut the girl out of it...and now victoria did it for us.. hahah



Jess and I went and got our hair cut and then we went to our favorite place, Cracker Barrell..without the lil girls. We missed them but enjoyed our girl on girl time...um that doesnt sound so good. haha


UM baby all the way


We then went to Target and at the end of our shopping journey I decide that I need some shades..we go over and we are trying them all on, laughing and crap.

Then it happened.

There was this grown ass man on one of the motor operated scooter things. Um he wasn't sick, he wasn’t injured. He just wanted to play on this thing. That’s a wonderful example for your two children that are about 8-12 yrs old...and his wonderful-nonrude(haha) wife which was also looking at shades. Now, I wouldn’t care even a lil that the guy feels more like a real man riding on a motorized wheelchair that 85 yr old men usually drive...however, he got a lil too close to us. I don’t know if he thought that if he ran over my toes that he would be more of a man but I was more than uncomfortable....
this is my "hurry up and take the picture before I loose my toes"

then jess said...omg, u have to smile..this is what she got


Then I went to my sister n laws shower. It was a GREAT time. I would love to show you pics but I kinda picked a best friend for her looks and not for her sharing ability and she hasn’t given me a copy of the pics.. Yes, I did forget my own camera. I was too worried about putting my awesome gift in the car...yes it was the bestest one out of the 1542454578 presents she got.
She LOVES snoopy. Like obsessed with it..So my gift with the one of a kind snoopy wrap is the best!!!



What you wanna see a pic of her room before it was a baby room?
OK..this is only one wall out of the entire room. Every wall was like this.


And then we went to Cracker Jack again for our girls night and let me answer a few questions....
Yes, our waitress was angry again for us talking for hours on end and her not being able to leave. She also attempted to scare us to leave by making SOSOSOSO much noise with a broom and scooper. Then sent in her manager to politely ask us to leave..not ask us, but imply for us to leave...
Yes, we then resumed our party on the rockers outside
Yes, we giggled so much that all of our abs are sore
Yes, I love them more and more every moment




I kept trying to make the disgusted face, like above, but this is what it always looks like ( if jess ever gives me the pics from the shower, you can see I tried there too)


I would give you captions for these pics, but I think you can form your own opinions.

On to fertile/infertile news..I went for my awesome( yeah right) yearly exam at a new Dr. and I loved the office. I loved the Dr. also. Well while I was there haveing him inspect the not so private parts anymore of me.... I asked about him giving me clomid without being monotored..AND HE SAID YES!! So I have a script for 3 months!!!

DISCLAIMOR: If we have more than 8 kids we will be selling a few to help pay for the others. Or we can be "Lovey and Cass and all their Lil Loveys on TV...yeah baby!!!!

Time flyes when your having fun and when your not.

So today is Victoria's baby shower. I am very excited about it. I got her all these presents and wrapped them all up in snoopy wrapping paper and it looks sosososo cute.

My Dad got alot sicker by last Friday/Saturday until Tuesday...now he is fine. Yay!

I didnt go to Texas...Loooong story but I got in an argument with my brother on top of being blamed and yelled at by my stepmother, and then the flight had technical problems and was delayed for 3 or so hours. So I got off and stayed home. I took it as a sign to stay home and make some babies with my husband. Lovey was sososo happy I stayed. It made me feel so good to see how much he misses me when I am gone and didnt want me to go.
NOTE: I understand that my stepmother is going through alot and is VERY overwhelmed with my Dad, but she was not nice to me more than once and when I sacrifice the things in my life like babymaking, to come there, the last thing I want to feel when I go there is like "No one asked me to come"

So I emailed her and my brother how I felt. I got an "Im sorry I hurt you" email and phone call from my brother but a defensive email from her. I emailed back and said please dont be confused by my email. I am not placing blame on you, that is not what I was doing..I was simply saying that I do nothing but try and be the positve one ALL the time and I got blamed by my Dad for being a bully, when we both know that was not the truth. So instead of an "I'm sorry, I got 2k they owe me. CLASSIC MY DAD AND ANN'S APOLOGY= $$$$$

We went to the lake and had an amazing time....The boys were in the "twin world: which no matter how many years I am with Lovey, I always forget how much...Pics? got em.
We will start off with my Lovey hubby who is still the cutest thing to me. I find him so hot...

Me and my married Jill.



Arnt they cute?

my knocked up sister n law

"whats n there"?

OMG so big and 7 weeks to go

Am I really that big she asks

My two handsomes

They got me my favorite drink..Martini and Rossi

Jills amazing husband

Love them loven each other when they think no ones watching

They really like their middle finger...its in the next few pics...this is what happens when you give you camera to the boys and tell them u want pics



And here we are being so cute.


"Victoria, tell them your only 12 weeks the next time someone asks" hahahahha


We are so cute

Lovey dont look like your mad!

Almost ready


sooooo cute we still are

Our annual group shot

sillly wabbit


Love me some uncle Joe

I learned a lil how to crochet...

Who is due first?

Annnd why amd I not knocked up yet?

Work it work it

no make up, on the wall

us girls