IUI cycle 3 meds

Ok, so this was my third month on fertility drugs. *IF* we dont get prego this month than we are going to take a break from the treament... I dont know for how long but for a few months i think. I just cant take any more hormones and the $$ tree hasnt come in yet, so we are running out of money to do this...at $1500 per month. We have to go to the Dr and re-evaluate what we are going to do. The only problem i have is my progestrone is low after i ovulate and i have short cycles....so i can get prego on my own it just will take me ALOT longer. ( btw jenn, i learned about my short luteal phase in tcoyf and i was right:))We did the IUI this cycle. We were suppose to do it last cycle but we had to leave for our cruise so we only got one which is not the crucial one to have. This cycle we did the complete treatment plan. Treament plan: called a mini stemTake clomid from day 3-8. Skip a day, then take gonal F shot, then skip to day 12 and go in to have ultrasound to see how big the follicles are and have blood taken. If they are big enough and your estrogen is high enough then they tell you take the ovidril shot to make you ovulate within 24-36 hrs. If they arnt big enough then you either have to go back for that same process or like this month just told me to wait a day to take the shot. We took it Wednesday night. Had our first IUI Thursday. I got very nautious for about 4 hrs...didnt understand it, but it was so bad. 2nd IUI today and this am my tummy still wasnt up to par and the nurse came in and did the IUI so fast. She said I had alot of Cevercal mucus (cm) which is real important because that what his swimmys live in but the clomid dries it up alot of the time. So she said it was good. I love our nurse. It was the same nurse as yesterday. The 2nd nurse from yesterday (another story) And then i had MAJOR gas pains. I called my Dr and didnt leave a message but a DR called me back. weird huh? He told me that MOST woman have no side effects with IUI's but everyone once in awhile you do. He said that the nautiousness and the pains are from it. They are uterine contractions. The will feel like REALLY bad gas....and im ovulating 3 eggs so ovulation pains times 3. Nice. But really nice to know that it isnt me going crazy or something bad.So cycle 15 and 10 years from when i was pregnant last...it would be weird if it was this month...but a good weird. hahahahave my pregestrone checked on 10-31 and pregnancy blood test on 11-9.....so keep me in your prayers and thoughts and wish us lots of *babydust*

Trust his plan

Today i got my period. Yesterday I spotted. We were sure I was pregnant because I wasn't spotting like normal. On day 8 after ovulation came, then went, then day 9 came and went...nothing, the same with 10, 11, 12, then 13 I started spotting. I felt like my world came crashing down. We really- really thought i was. The Dr. was so positive and so was I..then everyone kept saying that they spotted when they were pregnant and not to worry...so i pick myself up my the bootstraps and put on a smile and went to my husbands softball game. It was so hard, but i did it. I decided that if i wasn't bleeding this am, i would still go in for my beta as scheduled...but when i got up at 5am there was my period...and alot of cramps. Then i told myself after cleaning up that big mess that if my tampon was empty at 8am then I would still go..well it was overfull...so this month is a goner. I know that the Lord has a bigger plan that i don't know about. I have faith. Maybe something was wrong with those babies...maybe those eggs had the disorder my family carries...who knows...i sure as hell don't. But i do know he is WAY bigger than me and has a plan for us...a few years back i went to a shrink and she said that when I'm sad write down all the things I'm grateful for. Its impossible to be ungrateful and grateful at the same time. So here it goes....
1. My wonderful and supportive husband
2. my very bestest friend Jessica that checks on mew daily to see if i need anything
3. the most beautiful lil girls that i can borrow anytime from jess hahahah
4. a mom that calls me today just say i love you and its just not the right time..don't worry
5. a boss/ brother that loves me so much. That puts me first.
6. my mended relationship with the sister n law that i never thought would happen
7. a job that lets me work at home, so when i cry no one can see me
8. a job that pays so good that i can afford to have a nice life
9. Loveys raise last week
10. a new family that is sososo supportive.
11. this being the easiest year of marriage
12. my new kitten gives me so much joy
13. my porch looks so good. like the porch i have always wanted.
14. having enough money to pay our bills and live very comfortable
15. having enough money to pay for fertility treatments.
16. we are in the knot..we are picture perfect
17. I'm going on a Disney cruise with my amazing husband for our one year anniversary

These are the things I'm so grateful for.

First month of mini stem

I sit here and i hope and pray that I'm right. I think I'm pregnant. I have waited what it seems my whole life to write this. I am on day 10...no spotting. nothing. The Dr office didn't want to give me false hope...but thinks I'm pregnant. I really hope and pray that i have a lil lovey in me. The meds caused me to have lil side effects. I had mood swings like 2 days. Bloated almost every night. Felt constipated but went potty all the time. Minor hot flashes. The only thing that I have really complained about is the bloatedness. Its painful. My nose has been stuffy for days. My breast are sosososo sore and swollen. Not huge, but definitely fuller. I love it. It seems that my nipples are constantly hard. haha Today I feel when i take a deep breath my uterus is tight? make sense? its a weird feeling...but i love it....I really think that God has given us the answer to prayer this month....Lovey is buying some test for me to take tomorrow...I cant imagine people not wanting this. I told Jess I was afraid I wouldn't be a good mommy to my kitten, but I am. I love him with all of my heart. I have the same fears about being a mean mommy like my mom...but I really don't think I will. I cant imagine belittling my children or being jealous of them.till i def find out...

EDIT: its day 13dpo and last night i started spotting. it tinted my pee a darker yellow and then i told lovey to just have sex with me and then there was pink in with the love juice...Lovey couldn't see it in my pee on the tp...but he saw it when i wiped the love juice.....i cried so hard. i didn't know that i would be that upset. i just am tired of being broken. I want this so bad. i took test the last 2 days and they were both negative. My Dr said not to take them they will give a wrong result..its too soon...but i thought who cares...i thought they were wrong but it looks like i was the only one who was.i stopped spotting this am but i think that was just my body tricking me. My bbs hurt less today..no only the very tips of my boobs hurt. this is awful.

Results of test

Ok, we go for our follow-up with our fertility Dr on Monday. We have had a million tests done. I did already get my results of my latest blood work and the answer is what I thought it would be…..low progesterone. The level needs to be at least a 10 and mine was 6.683 so fertility drugs for me. But I am going to be on like 10 or 11th day of my cycle when I go so I missed this month. (You have to start clomid on day 3-4) We actually aren’t even trying at all. I am going to a conference on Aug 10-15 in Orlando this year….

Jills Engaged

the tank is all done..we just have to stain it now!! it looks amazing...my husband is pretty talented if i say so myself.

look

i couldnt take a pic the normal way because it wouldnt all fit in my camera.

nice huh?

we had a date night Tuesday night...we went to dinners and to see knocked up. GREAT movie. We laughed and laughed. Itwas really cute and i hope to get knocked up soon :) heehee

date night pics....



i could take pics of him all night long... hhahahahha

oh and monday 6/11 night my jill calls me and tells me that she is engaged!!! yayayyayay im sosososo happy. i love her and bri so much....


we had lunch yesterday and i got to see her ring...its so puuurty!


k, everyone have a great day!

ok so today i had a HSG done. Its a test that makes sure your tubes arnt blocked and if u have uterus issues...for those curious...http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/hysterosalpingogram-21590

Anyway, NO BLOCKAGE AT ALL....the Dr. said everything looks fine. I have to go back to the Dr. but the endo that performed it said that the pipes look clean and they are all workin.lol anyway, they told me to go home and make some babies tonight..they say that some woman get pregnant right after the test...so u never know...at least I will have fun muahhhhhaaaahhhh

miss you mom

Ok, Today is Saturday Morning. It is 6 days before the anniversary of the death of my mother so i thought we would reminiss..





She never was blessed to meet my lovey. Its weird to think that he is the best Ive ever met and yet she never got to see me smile like this. I think that if she lived a lil longer to see me this happy it would have made her want to live longer than she did. She was so depressed and she just gave up.

No litarally , gave up. Had them tie off her feeding tube and be done with this earthbound life.....and the hardest thing i did was not tell her what to do. Not tell her to stay because i was selfish. Just let her do what she needed to do.

Those 3 months were some of best three months I ever got with her.

After she died I went out with all my friends from work and danced the night away..layed by the pool and had a rockin new life.

Then it hit me.Um your Mom just died. This didnt happen for 7 months..and then my world crumbled. it was bad, i was sososo sad. I didnt know what to do. I didnt have any family anymore. I barely spoke to my older brother and my younger brother lived so far, Me and my dad were just two people that were polite to each other. He would preach to me and I would just take it. And to top matters I had the dumbest boyfriend ever that i lived with.
(why is it that when your in a relationship that you know is not the one for you but you choose to try and convence EVERYONE including yourself that he is the one and then when you break up you wanna kick yourself because the signs were there the WHOLE time!!!!)

I went back to college. Oldest in my classes. Straight A's... I was gonna make somethin of my life. I worked for a law firm and met my Amanda. She made me smile again. Hell, not just smile but laugh and laugh everday. I did that for a few years. then I realized that Im the only one that can make my life what I want it to be....my mom used to tell me that all the time, but i had an "ahhhhaaaa" moment. She told me on her death bed that i didnt have to marry robert and i truly think she told me that because she saw that he was so not good for me. He had money but that was it. So I left him. (it took 2 years, but i did it) I started working for a bar as a beer tub girl. I went to the beach. I ate so much fast food. I drank like a sailor. I flirted like there was a shortage of boys. I fixed my crooked ass teeth.

I love my life!

I was so proud that I left Robert. I was so happy I did it. I was so proud that for the first time in my entire life I wasnt depending on a boy to support me. I lived in a room with a lil girl of my friend Kara. Kara was going through her own thing so we played together. We painted the town Red and Purple. It was awesome. No boyfriends for me.

Then I met lovey...one night he smiled, smelled so good, dressed to kill, and he thought i was the cutest thing with my brace face. At least it was a tan brace face. HAHA

We bought a house, i quit the bar, quit school and started working with my Dad from Home. Life changed. Then I found out I was sick like my mom and then i was crushed all over again. Then Lovey and I broke up for about 72 hours (longest of my life) and I went to a therapist. OMG, I loved her...and there I was. Happy and free. Love my life.

Now almost 3 years from that day and 7 years from the death of my mother, I truly think she is looking down from heaven smilen so big. I know she is begging God to give me a baby, she would love to see that :) I wish she was here to hug me again and rock me in her recliner like I was lil...gosh, I miss those days.

Life is good. Life is beyond good. Work rocks. Sosososoososos busy is an understatement. But our company has done almost 3 Mil in sales this year so far and we only did 4 Mil ALL year last year...so um, yeah we rock. My husband is just the most awesome thing ever. I would love to tell you one thing he did, but he does more than one thing per day just to make me smile. My house looks amazing. My husband painted it while I was gone...

sooo 7 years later.
I have DJ, the younger brother...who I talk to everday like 4 times a day. Im his biggest fan.
I have the older brother that I talk to again
I have a daddy that walked me down the isle and calls me once a day just say hi and see how i am.
I have my own home
I have my own awesome husband
I have an awesome job
I have an amazing mother n law
I have a huge family with Lovey's family
i have the most incrediable friends

7 years has flown, but oh my godness... has so much happend.


Thanks to everyone that has been there for me when i didn think I could make it through the month of may. Now its a great month. Lots of smiles:)