year of hair

So instead of insisting that I look like a boy or that I like girls.....I figure I would bed thankful that I have hair and that its on its way to getting long again...so look. This is me right after diagnosis, taken by my amazing hairdresser that has become a once in a lifetime friend.....Amanda Lynn

This is after mt 1st chemo but before I lost all my hair

This is the haircut that my Amanda gave me when I called her crying that I have to shave and she said no and came in on her day off to help a very broken girl

This is the day I had to shave my head

And the very overpriced wig that I only wore a few times

My amazing husband shaved his head so I wasnt alone

This is Christmas 2012 when my hair was growing back 

My hair is growing back so much, soon it will be a faded memory

New hair

I got up today and did NOT have to take a sleeping pill- which is amaaaazing. I feel great today. Ive been making list and doing everything on my list!!! I did get my hair cut yesterday...and although she didnt cut much, it was so sentimental because it was first one since I lost it all.....I couldnt wait for this day.... so before

and after

My husband bought me a day at the spa...and I am going tomorrow!!!! I got Hello Kitty yoga pants because thanks to an amazing friend, I am going to Texas in 8 days!!! I cant wait to bake . I wont lie I feel better everyday

new day

So today I woke up in not the best mood. Everything was getting on my last nerve. Then it vanished. So I leave in a minute to get my first haircut since I lost it all. I cant wait. Also, I mailed something that I wrote in!!!!! pics to follow!!!!

Have patience

My New Years resolution is......ok so Im a little late....so giving my resolution makes me have one or ten. 1.This year have patience. Stop rushing everything. I went to my Neuro and asked him if Ill walk better or talk better or am I going to just get more sick...He said. Have patience. Its been 5 months since you pumped poison in you. He said my MRI shows that my SCA is stable.....so give it time 2. Feel and accept the love and not be a hermit. I dont want to see anyone cause Im embarrassed. 3. Dont be afraid/embarassed A. to try- I give up way toooooo soon B. to walk- I walk like Im drunk C. to talk-I text or email cause my speech is slurred 4. Be a better wife-make him smile everyday 5. Blog more- Write down my thoughts again and dont get angry it takes soooo long 6. Exercise more= EVERY Dr. has told me to work out. 7. Eat healthier-I dont want to loose weight, just be healthier 8. Bake more-Ive been baking alot since Im done with treatment and love it 9. Mail more- I love getting mail and I dont send anything because my handwriting ia like a kindergarndner 10. Love me more- If I had a daughter, I would never say/think half the things I sazy to myself.

The year of I can

Instead of "i'm slow" Im gonna try everything.....If I fall/fail Ill try again!! so last night I held Addy for a long time and then bathed them. It was freaken wonderful....and then we came home at like 11pm cause lovey was working on no sleep and he worked all day and then made a an amazing dinner for 13 then made cotton candy for the kids...Mom did a balloon popping game on the hour which was super fun!!! and Im training for my marathon aka skiing/vacation in just under two months- I know that everyone is sick of hearing about the New Year resolutions but due to my chemo brain its easier for me to know when I started. BTW, my brain tumor/pituitary adenoma has shrunk...so no cancer and a shrunk brain tumor= my year!!!!! and I think I may start an exercise blog so my trainer can follow my progress

Youve had a tough year

So before cancer but after IVF I became a little hermit...I was embarrassed that I couldnt carry a drink across the room....and was afraid to ask anyone.....so I became a hermit. So now being cancer free, growing beautiful hair, have my disability finally being paid, starting a new year with a friend training me in personal fitness...I should be super happy but instead, Im super embarrassed. I cant walk straight and talk right so instead of thinking of what I can do now, I think of all I can't...and the mental is worst then the physical- I constantly say I cant do this, but I can, Im just slow...and today I went to my old work which I have avoided for years even though a great friend works there and she said....something Im gonna keep telling myself...Youve had a tough year, dont be embarrassed....

Go my new motto is going to be Fake it until I make it..... so I want to say all that I do daily... Mailed gifts at postoffice Went to Michaels- walked around alot and shopped came home to clean up made reindeer food like this....

made cake balls

made cheesecake

Lovey did help me a little.....on the tieing of stuff and cutting of stuff with a knife and by then it was 8pm and i crashed...... I only sat in front of the TV for moments yesterday because I would sob everytime.....my pain is NOTHING compared to the pain experienced there. I felt sick like 9/11..the presidents speech was very good. I sobbed then too....my heart aches for everyone involved..... so back to get ready for my Christmas party.....